The Way Home
by Frisco
Summary: Security protocols on an Ancient outpost separate the team, and an accident leaves Sheppard and McKay injured. Can they find each other and the way home?  Spoilers through The Return with one tiny one for The Game.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"OK, Teyla, your turn. Worst gift you ever received." Sheppard eyed her over the top of his coffee cup. "And no philosophical remarks like 'it's the thought that counts' either."

She pinked a little and considered the question as she swallowed her last bite of bagel and strawberry cream cheese. "When I was a child, my father's sister, Marel, decided to learn a new skill but could not find one that suited her. For the next two years, every gift I received from her was the result of a failed craft – brittle bantos rods, a blouse with one arm longer than the other, an artistic rendering of something completely unrecognizable. It is simply not possible to pick which was the worst."

"Hmmm. Ronon?"

"My mother thought I needed culture. On Sateda we celebrate our day of birth by giving gifts to others; one year she gave me a lemsar, similar to the clarinet Dr. Marks plays, and requested that I learn a traditional Satedan song for our next family gathering."

McKay's shoulders began shaking as John struggled to hold his face straight. "And did you?"

"Requests from my mother were not suggestions."

"Ah. Rodney?"

"Well, for Christmas one year- oh, forget it. Nothing I got can top being forced to learn to play the clarinet."

Dex grinned. "Hand it over."

Teyla passed him the last doughnut before turning back to the scientist. "I would still like to hear what you received."

"Grandma Betty always took the easy way out by buying everyone the same thing for Christmas. I am her only male grandchild. I usually wound up with a doll or a dress."

John coughed and spluttered as he aspirated coffee. "I'll bet you looked-"

The Athosian kicked him in the shin. "So in essence Jeannie received two gifts?"

"Exactly. Now you know why I suck at gift giving. And Sheppard, you don't seriously expect us to believe the worst present you ever got was a red sweater."

"Did I mention that it had a fuzzy Santa on the front, and I was sixteen?"

McKay grimaced. "Ouch. Did your mom make you wear it?"

Sheppard's eyes skittered away. "No," he responded softly.

Interrupting the awkward silence, Teyla stood and picked up her tray. "I believe it is time for our mission briefing. I do not wish to keep Dr. Weir waiting."

The team placed the remnants of breakfast on the conveyor belt and made their way to the conference room. Elizabeth followed them in and took her normal seat, greeting each one in turn, and then turned to Sheppard.

"What's on today's agenda, Colonel?"

"M3B-546. We believe it is a possible Ancient outpost. Rodney?"

"The database is sketchy on the details, but it lists 546 as a research facility. The planet itself is described as uninhabited with less than ideal weather conditions."

"How much less?" Weir asked.

"Oh, the usual. Wild temperature swings and hurricane strength storms that hit with no warning and last for months."

Teyla looked confused. "Why would the Ancestors put a facility on such a place?"

"To hide it," Ronon suggested.

McKay nodded. "That's the most likely explanation. Why would the Wraith bother with a planet like that?"

Elizabeth studied the report briefly. "So whatever they were researching…."

"….has to be worth taking a look at," Sheppard finished. "We can take a jumper and land close to the building."

She raised a quizzical brow. "How do you know the building is still standing?"

"We don't," the colonel admitted. "The MALP couldn't withstand the force of the winds for very long, but we did get enough telemetry to determine that a jumper could fly unimpeded through the gate. If the building is gone, we'll simply return home."

"Will the jumper withstand the storm? We could wait until it ends."

John leaned back in his chair, one arm thrown over the back. "The flight won't be smooth, but the winds aren't strong enough to blow it away like they did the MALP. Besides, there is no way to know how long the storm will last."

"Is it worth the risk?"

Sheppard and McKay traded glances. "Yes."

Glancing around the room, she saw only confidence and anticipation. "OK. You leave in an hour."

OoOoOoOoO

After zipping up his jacket, John double-checked the contents of his tac vest and then zipped it up as well. He took a last look around his quarters, making a note to give it a good cleaning when he returned. Dirty clothes were piled in one corner, and his sneakers and two pairs of boots were tossed haphazardly in another. His DVD collection was strewn in the floor from the last time Ronon raided it. He was not normally a slob, but life had been hectic lately. He took a deep breath and ran through his mental checklist – tac vest, Glock, knives, radio, sunglasses, gloves and a cap just in case. Satisfied he had everything, he headed to the armory for his P-90 and extra ammunition.

When he reached the jumper bay, he found Ronon waiting for him. Traveling light had its advantages. Sheppard ran through his pre-flight check while the Satedan inventoried the craft's supplies. Once Teyla and McKay were aboard and Flight had given permission for departure, John closed the rear hatch and keyed the control to open the entryway to the gateroom as the jumper's autopilot took control. Teyla dialed the gate address, and the small ship shot through the event horizon.

Arriving on the other side was similar to bungee jumping - smooth sailing until the big bounce. The jumper bucked and rolled as it was buffeted by unbelievably strong winds. Blinding rain seemed to come from every direction, and the thunder and lightening were on a scale he'd never seen. The storm had worsened in the two hours since the MALP had been sent. Using every ounce of focus he had, Sheppard kept the ship in the air.

"Where to, Rodney?"

"Scanning…. OK, can you bring up the HUD?"

"Um, maybe." The craft dipped suddenly. "Hang on." John struggled with the controls and finally got more altitude. The display flickered on and off as his attention divided.

"Anytime now, Colonel."

"I'm trying, McKay. This isn't as easy as it looks." He battled another gust of wind and then brought up the HUD.

The scientist glanced at his readings and back to the display, pointing to a red dot a short distance away. "That's the only energy signature I'm getting."

Poor visibility prevented them from detecting the building until they were almost upon it. The tall spires of Atlantis were missing but the design was definitely Lantian, and the structure seemed intact. Sheppard landed the jumper a little harder than he intended, but he was grateful to able to get close to the entrance. McKay hustled out and peered at the wall momentarily before punching a series of keys. A door slid open, and the team hurried inside, remotely closing the rear hatch.

John ran his hands through his hair and then wiped his eyes in an attempt to brush away as much rain as possible. He almost laughed at his soggy little troupe as they dripped puddles around the cavernous room in which they stood. The lights had blazed to life when he had entered, revealing an empty atrium area with numerous hallways. McKay stood in the center, eyes glued to his scanner, while Ronon and Teyla alertly walked the perimeter. The roar of the storm could still be heard even with the door closed.

"Well?" Sheppard asked as he approached the physicist. "What have we got?"

Rodney adjusted a couple of settings and pointed to his right. "The strongest signal is that way."

"The strongest? There's more than one?"

"There are several coming from basically every direction." The Canadian could barely contain his excitement. "With these levels, this place has to be powered by a ZedPM."

"Before we start borrowing ZPMs, why don't we find out what this place does first."

McKay bobbed his head distractedly and headed toward the most powerful energy reading. John took a quick glance at the life signs detector, confirming four dots, before following the scientist down a hallway, Ronon and Teyla trailing after them. Rodney paused, turning slightly left then right. He examined the wall to his right, obviously searching for something. It looked like a smooth metal surface to the pilot, with no discernable seams or panels. McKay frowned as his eyes darted from the scanner to the wall.

"The energy signature is behind here, but I can't find a way in. Do you see anything?"

John looked to Ronon and Teyla who shook their heads. "We don't see anything either, Rodney."

Hissing in frustration, McKay typed a few commands into the device he carried. "There has to be a door or a panel somewhere." He touched the gray surface hesitantly. "Huh."

"What does that mean?"

"I can feel it vibrating under my hand." He turned hopeful eyes to the colonel. "Want to try?"

Knowing he would most likely regret it, Sheppard agreed. He took a deep breath and quickly laid a hand on the wall, pleasantly surprised when the entire surface disappeared to expose a room filled with dark consoles. Rodney went straight to the largest panel while Ronon and Teyla eased cautiously into the room. John checked the LSD one more time and then joined McKay.

"What do you think?"

"Hmmm? Oh, it just needs to activated." The scientist laid his hand on the console and scrunched his face in concentration. Opening an eye, he looked pointedly at Sheppard. "You know, this would go a lot faster if you-"

"Got it." Wandering around the room, John brought each panel to life with a touch. Soon the room was filled with happily flashing read-outs and one ecstatic physicist.

The military man recognized the totally absorbed expression on Rodney's face; they were going to be here for a while. Sheppard sneaked a peek at his watch and sighed. Eight hours before they needed to return or report. Gazing at one of the consoles, he realized the futility of trying to read any of the displays.

"McKay." No response. "McKay!"

The scientist jumped. "What?"

"We're going to check some of the other rooms. Radio if you find anything useful."

Waving a disinterested hand at them, Rodney turned back to his work. "Have fun."

John, Ronon and Teyla each took a separate hallway and spent the better part of two hours searching the facility. They discovered living quarters, common areas, a commissary, a few labs and various other rooms but nothing that resembled an armory, which disappointed Ronon, or a power station, which disappointed Sheppard.

The pilot keyed his radio. "Ronon, Teyla, this is Sheppard. I'm going to see how McKay is doing. Finish your hallway and meet me back there."

"I am almost done, Colonel," Teyla stated. "I will join you shortly."

"I've got a couple more rooms on my hall and then I'll be there," Ronon added.

Idly wondering where all the energy signatures Rodney had scanned were emanating from, John made his way back to the room in which he'd left McKay. Entering the seemingly empty area, the colonel frowned until he spied legs emerging from a console.

Biting back a grin, he softly cleared his throat. "Rodney!"

A dull thud resounded from the panel. "Ow! Dammit! Why do you always do that?" The scientist gingerly touched a spot near his hairline as he sat up, laying his computer tablet on the floor.

Sheppard put on his most innocent look. "Do what?"

"Sneak up on me. Am I bleeding?"

"No, you aren't bleeding. Have you considered that I was concerned since you weren't standing where I left you?"

Rolling his eyes, McKay slowly got to his feet. "Bullshit. You knew exactly where I was. Life signs detector?"

"Oh. Must have forgotten to check. I do, however, remember someone posting my high school prom picture on the Atlantis intranet."

Failing miserably to hide a smile, Rodney shrugged. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That's what I figured. And for the record, I wasn't sneaking." He walked over to peer over the Canadian's shoulder. "What did you find?"

"Each console is for a separate research project. I've only begun deciphering what exactly since all the data is encrypted. The Ancients were seriously paranoid about this place which is probably why the Atlantis database had so little information. You didn't find anything else, did you?"

"Nothing. How'd you know?"

"Anything of value is hidden behind walls like the one for this room. I would guess-"

The main console emitted a loud buzz which was followed by a strange humming sound from the doorway. Both men turned in time to see the wall reappear.

"What the hell? McKay, get that door open." He clicked his earpiece. "Teyla, Ronon, can you hear me?"

The Athosian responded first. "I can hear you, Colonel. What has happened?"

"Probably nothing, but the wall to the room came back on its own. Where are you?"

"I am now in the hallway." Pounding echoed on the wall. "John?"

"I'm here, Teyla! Rodney is-"

All of the consoles began flashing, and a strange ripple washed through the room which then plunged into darkness. John switched on his P-90 light as Rodney dug a flashlight out of his vest. Suddenly the lights flickered on.

"McKay!"

"Working on it."

"Teyla? Are you there?" Complete silence greeted him. "Ronon, can you hear me?" More silence. "Rodney!" he growled.

"I'm trying! I don't understand why everything just quit working. There was nothing to indicate-"

The wall disappeared with a whoosh, opening to a dark, empty corridor.

"Where did they go?" McKay demanded.

"Be quiet."

"Well, excuse me-"

"Stop talking and listen."

The ensuing silence was deafening.

Rodney heaved an irritated sigh. "What? I don't hear anything."

"Exactly. What happened to the storm?"

"Oh." The scientist's eyes rounded. He turned back to the console he'd been working on and stopped short. "Oh no." He grabbed his scanner from his pocket and headed for the entrance to the building. When he stepped into the hallway, it became illuminated as well.

"McKay!" John ran after him, snagging him by the arm and pulling him up short. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I need to check something. Please let me be wrong." He wrenched his arm from the pilot's grasp and continued to the door.

"Want to let me in on the secret?"

"Not yet." He scanned the atrium area, keying in a couple of commands as John reached for the door.

"Stop!" Rodney screamed. "Don't open it." He massaged a temple as he took a few more readings. "Oh, we are so screwed."

"Now is not the time-"

"We're on a different planet."

That got Sheppard's attention. "What?"

"The atmosphere is toxic. We can't go outside."

"How could we possibly-"

"I don't know yet." McKay hurried back to the control room. "All I know is we are no longer on the same planet. Ronon and Teyla aren't here. My tablet isn't here. The jumper isn't here. And we can't get to the stargate."

"Why aren't we dead?"

"What?"

"If the atmosphere is toxic, why aren't we already dead?"

"The building must be shielded."

They reached the room, and Rodney methodically began checking panels. Stopping, he dropped his head to his chest and took a deep breath. He shot John a taut glance. "You're going to need to reactivate the consoles."

"Why?"

"Don't ask me how because I don't know, but nothing moved but you and me. This place is a duplicate to the one on 546."

"So we are in a different building on a different planet."

"Yes. I told you the Ancients were seriously paranoid about the place. Hopefully once we get everything turned on, I can get some answers." He pressed a few keys on the console as John began activating the other panels.

"Ronon and Teyla?"

"My best theory right now is only the people in this room move."

"So they are still on the other planet."

"Yes, and as completely cut off as we are."

OoOoOoOoO

"Colonel Sheppard! Please respond!" Teyla shouted for the fifth time as she hammered the wall with her fists. "Dr. McKay! Can you hear me?"

Struggling to not panic, she turned to Ronon. "Can you hear anything?"

He stood perfectly still, barely even breathing. "Nothing but the storm. We need to contact Atlantis. Someone with the Ancestor gene will need to open the door."

"We cannot. Colonel Sheppard has the jumper remote, and we could not operate the controls if we could get inside."

The Satedan huffed in frustration. "Then we will have to get to the Ring."

Teyla gazed steadily at him. "You know that is not possible at the moment. I have never seen wind and rain like this, even the time the massive storm hit Atlantis. We could get hopelessly lost or step off a cliff. We must wait for some of the fury to subside."

"I don't like to wait."

"That has not escaped my attention, but we must. You go when it is calmer; I will remain here in hopes that they will eventually answer."

She slid to the floor, back against the surface that had separated her from her two teammates. Leaning her head back, she tried to center herself while Ronon stalked angrily in front of her. She knew the meditation techniques would never work, but they kept her mind occupied. Dex dropped heavily next to her.

"Have you ever considered taking the gene therapy?"

She opened her eyes in surprise. "Have you?"

"I am right now. It might not work, but if it did we'd be able to get ourselves out of situations like this."

"That is true. I have just never been comfortable with the idea of pretending to be an Ancestor."

"Is that how you see having the gene?"

She shrugged. "In the past, I questioned the advisability of artificially taking on Ancestor characteristics, but when they returned recently…. I had never doubted their wisdom until then."

"They were very intelligent and very advanced, but they weren't gods, Teyla."

"I know that. But they-"

"They accidentally created the Wraith and then left us here to deal with them. If Beckett has a shot that will help us fight the Wraith, shouldn't we take advantage of it?"

"There are times that I do not know what to do or believe anymore. So much has changed in the past two and a half years. I would not have thought it possible to fight the Wraith let alone defeat them until John and the others arrived, and yet now there is nothing I want more."

"When we get back, I'm going to ask Beckett."

"I will consider it."

OoOoOoOoO

"It's been two hours. Anything yet?"

"I'm trying, Colonel. I told you I had just started deciphering what project each console is for, and now I don't have my computer. Encryption, remember? So far, I've determined what these three are, but I haven't found which one controls the stargate."

"The stargate."

"Well, how did you think we were moving from one planet to the next? Fairy dust? Something must be remotely dialing the gate and transmitting any life signs in this room through."

"There are over thirty consoles in here."

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

"Rodney…"

"What?"

"What happens when-"

The wall popped back into place as the panels flashed and the room rippled. Darkness descended momentarily.

"Shit!"

"What?"

"I think we moved again."

"McKay!"

"Well, I didn't do it!"

Low lights began to flicker on. The wall slid open, and Sheppard entered the slowly illumining hallway, Rodney following in his stead. The temperature in the atrium was close to freezing.

"Why is it so cold in here?" John turned to see the scientist furiously typing commands on his scanner.

"Well, the good news is the atmosphere isn't toxic here."

"And the bad news?"

"The temperature outside is -118 degrees Celsius."

"What?"

"We wouldn't last a minute out there."

"Then let's get back to that room."

They spent the next two hours pouring over the consoles in an attempt to find the stargate controls. When the buzzing started and the wall reappeared, Rodney's shoulders sagged.

"Dammit!"

The process repeated, and they found themselves in another dark room. The lights came up almost immediately.

After staring at each other for a minute, they silently made their way to the entry room.

"Well, isn't that something," McKay muttered.

"What?"

"Ever been to Florida?"

Sheppard's face crinkled in confusion. "What?"

"It's rather like the Everglades."

"Don't make me say 'what' again."

"The atmospheric conditions right now – hot and humid, maybe a little swamp-like."

"So we can go outside."

"We could."

"But…."

"The stargate isn't registering on my scanner."

"Well, there has to be one if we're here."

"I know that. Maybe it's just a really long way away, or something could be blocking the energy signature."

"Great." John's head was really beginning to ache. "Anything else?"

"Check the life signs detector."

Sheppard pulled it from his vest. "Lots of life signs."

"Perfect. Human?"

"No idea. Do you think there's anything on those consoles that would tell us?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Probably."

"Probably?"

"Stop repeating everything I say. There might be something on the database in that room, Colonel, but I don't know without looking."

"Then, by all means, let's look."

Rodney huffed in irritation and stomped back the way they had come. John rubbed his eyes, prayed for patience, and followed. The room layout in the first three rooms had been identical so they ignored the panels that they had already deciphered and began activating the other ones.

One console refused to activate for the pilot, and he stared at it in surprise for a moment. He had never had trouble using any Ancient technology before. He'd seen Carson, Rodney and several others strain to activate or operate some equipment, but John hadn't ever had to even think hard. He rested both hands on the controls and concentrated. He heard a loud pop and then a whir as the machine struggled to life. He closed his eyes and focused.

His mind screamed a warning before the surge hit, but he couldn't get away in time. Blinding white hot pain raced through every nerve ending and exploded behind his eyes.

OoOoOoOoO

McKay stared at the display as the frustration built. _Why could he not find the right set of controls?_ He could fix this; he knew he could. Something here was manipulating the stargate, and he wasn't going to rest until he found it.

A loud pop caught his attention, and he turned to see Sheppard frowning as he tried to activate a console. The scientist started to make a sarcastic quip about pilots and ATA genes when the colonel's body stiffened.

"Rodney," he whispered. "Something's wrong."

The man's eyes widened, and he screamed in a way McKay had heard only once and had hoped to never hear again. John's eyes rolled back in his head, and his body began to convulse as the console whined an overload alarm.

Although Rodney had never been much of an athlete, he'd seen enough hockey and football to understand how to take someone down. Steeling himself, he ran at Sheppard as hard as he could. He body-slammed John just as the console exploded. McKay felt shrapnel pepper his right side before something hard impacted his skull. He was unconscious before he hit the floor.

XXX

The acrid smell of smoke brought Rodney back to awareness. His entire body ached, and something warm and sticky was running down his face. He tried to raise his right hand to wipe it away only to stop as shards of pain radiated from his shoulder to his knee. Deciding to lie still for a while, his lids slid shut, but the image of an exploding panel caused his eyes to fly open again.

"Sheppard?" he croaked. The rest of his senses began to return. Realizing that he was lying on his stomach and that something hard was pressing into his abdomen, he gradually raised his head, grimacing as agony spiraled down his body. He blinked slowly, trying to focus. Lights flickered and then remained steady, and he caught his first glimpse of John.

The colonel was sprawled on the floor in front of him, blood running down his face, chest and arms from numerous cuts and abrasions. His pallid features were completely still, and panic blossomed in Rodney's chest. McKay pushed himself up, fumbling to find a pulse on his friend. Slumping in relief at the sluggish but steady heartbeat, he glanced around the room. The other consoles seemed intact, but he needed to get medical help. He sincerely hoped there was an infirmary in this ridiculous building.

When the wall opened, he staggered to his feet and dragged Sheppard into the hall. Uncertain which way to go, he reached for his scanner and bit back an expletive when he couldn't find it. Gently easing John to the floor, Rodney walked unsteadily back in the room and dropped to his knees as he began to retch. His concussion confirmed, he remained on all fours until the dry heaves stopped and the dizziness receded. He crawled to where the scanner had fallen, leaning his forehead on the cool floor as he tried to gather strength. A loud buzz sounded, and the doorway disappeared in a hum.

"Oh no. No!"

He scrambled to his feet as the consoles began to flash and the room rippled into darkness. The door open, and he wobbled into the dark and empty hallway.

"No," he whispered as he slid down the wall. Sheppard was gone, and he was alone.

_tbc_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"I didn't know you liked to dance, Carson." Elizabeth stabbed at the lone green bean left on her plate.

"I don't recall saying I liked to dance. I said I took lessons."

"Ohhhh. What was her name?"

He sighed dreamily. "Irina. I met her during uni. She had the most fantastic-"

The city-wide comm crackled to life. "_Dr. Weir, please report to the control room_."

She picked up her tray. "Duty calls."

"I'll see you later."

Smiling impishly, she replied, "Yes you will. I want to hear all about Irina."

Hoping it was not an emergency and knowing it was, the expedition leader hurried to the transporter. When she reached the control room, she found the gate active and Zelenka talking over the radio.

"And you have not heard from them since?"

"_We have not_." Teyla's usually calm tones now carried an undercurrent of panic. "_The storm has not abated, and we are unable to get in the jumper_."

"What's happened?"

Chuck answered Elizabeth first. "When Col. Sheppard's team was overdue, I dialed the planet. Teyla responded to my hail. There's been some kind of accident."

"_Col. Sheppard and Dr. McKay were in a room that can only be accessed by someone with the Ancestral gene. The entrance closed, and they are not responding on the radio_."

Elizabeth looked at Radek. "What do you think?"

"I have no idea without seeing the room. I will need to take someone with the gene with me."

"I'm not going to send more people until I know more."

"_We are wasting time. We need to get in there_." The Satedan's frustration was evident. "_It's been too long already_."

"Ronon-"

"_Dr. Weir, I do not believe anyone else would be in jeopardy. We have sat here for six hours, and no harm has come to us_."

Elizabeth rubbed her forehead as she ran through her options. Releasing a pent-up breath, she nodded at Zelenka. "Get what you need. I'll have Lorne and a team meet you in the jumper bay in thirty minutes." She glanced at Chuck. "Have the major report immediately."

"Yes, ma'am."

As Radek hurried away and the technician called for Evan, Weir turned her attention back to Teyla and Ronon. "Hang on. Lorne and Zelenka will be there shortly."

"_We will be waiting, Elizabeth_."

OoOoOoOoO

Pain. Raging. Unrelenting. Unforgiving. Every nerve ending screamed in anguish. He was awash in a haze of red, unable to move, unable to breathe. He pleaded for the darkness to return, to let him escape from the misery. He tried to lift his head, and, as the blood roared in his ears, his request was granted.

OoOoOoOoO

Rodney held his aching head in his hands, fighting the dizziness and the nausea. He had thought he was screwed earlier, but this brought it to an entirely new level. He knew he could fix this normally, but right now he could not think straight much less translate encrypted Ancient without a computer, and he had no one to assist him, no one to work voodoo magic on his head to make the hurt go away. He could not risk being transported to another world, but if this planet was viable maybe he could get to the gate.

Pushing himself up, McKay staggered to the atrium, right leg dragging. He blinked rapidly at the scanner as he tried to make sense of the display. He hoped he was reading it correctly, and, tucking the device in a pocket, he opened the door. He laughed as he stepped outside and saw wide open spaces.

"What do you know, Dorothy. I think we're in Kansas."

Vertigo drove him to his knees, and his mind's need to find help lost to his body's need to collapse. Intending to rest for one short minute, he lay on his side, breathing shallowly. Then he closed his eyes and slid into unconsciousness.

OoOoOoOoO

Lorne's knuckles were white as he battled the winds to keep the small ship aloft. "Where to, Doc?"

"Hmmm…. OK, I've got the other jumper. HUD please."

After a few minutes of struggling and cursing, the display popped up. Zelenka indicated the location, and Evan pointed the craft toward it, keying his radio. "Teyla, are you reading me?"

"_Yes, Major_." Relief colored her voice.

"We'll be there in a minute."

Landing unsteadily but safely next to the first jumper, Lorne lowered the rear hatch as Teyla opened the building door. Zelenka and two other scientists ran out first followed closely by Evan and his team. Once inside, they headed to the room where Sheppard and McKay were last seen. The major stared at the blank wall and back at the small woman.

"Where?"

"Through the wall. Col. Sheppard placed his hand on the wall causing it to disappear."

"I hope you mean the wall and not his hand," Lorne muttered.

He reached out for the wall and thought '_open'_, startling when the surface dissolved in front of his eyes. Ronon rushed in and roared in frustration at the emptiness.

"You're sure this is the right room?" Evan asked.

Dex wheeled in anger, invading the major's personal space. "I have stood here for six hours waiting for that wall to disappear. I'm sure."

"This is the right room," confirmed Zelenka as he reached beneath a console. He pulled out a familiar computer tablet wired to the panel. "Rodney was working here."

"Are there any other exits?"

Radek cursorily examined the room. "Assuming that none of these panels move, no."

The group stared at each other. "Where could they have gone?"

OoOoOoOoO

Breathe in. Breathe out. Just keep breathing. His lungs obeying at least for the moment, he slowly, hesitantly, opened his eyes. Darkness, then light. He could see a long, dusty hallway stretching before him, and he dreaded the thought of trying to maneuver his way down it. He hurt everywhere; his face, chest and arms burned, and his head spun.

"Help." _Was that weak rasp him? Was he alone here? Where was here?_

He tried to remember, but the fire scorching his nerves blazed in his mind. Nothing there but raw searing agony. Vowing to not do that again, he lay quietly and listened. The only sound was his own breathing although, upon further reflection, he had no idea what he had been expecting to hear. He slowly sat up, leaning heavily against the smooth metal wall as he tried to reestablish his equilibrium.

If the building was truly deserted, perhaps he could find help outside. Glancing down the corridor again, he steeled himself against the pain and struggled to his feet. His knees buckled as he tried to take a step, and he landed hard on the unforgiving tile, jarring his badly abused body. His vision grayed, and he gasped for air, holding perfectly still in an attempt to not faint. Once everything stopped spinning, he tried again. Using the wall for support, he pushed himself up and staggered forward. When he reached the end of the hallway, he found himself in a large, empty room with various corridors branching off but only one door.

He focused his eyes on that exit and lurched toward it, arm outstretched. He stared at it uncomprehendingly for a moment, unsure as to how to get it open. It had no knob, no lock, no indication of a release. A keypad with incomprehensible markings was nearby. He placed an unsteady hand on the wall as shudders overtook his body. He was not going to last much longer, and he needed out.

Suddenly the door slid open, and he stumbled out into hot, sticky air. He blinked woozily at the tall reed grasses that extended to the horizon. Sunlight glinted off standing pools of water, and large shade trees waved invitingly at him. He took a few wobbly steps, but his legs gave way, and he collapsed, sinking into oblivion, never seeing the two preteen boys watching him from the safety of their favorite tree.

OoOoOoOoO

Water droplets splashing on the face was not Rodney McKay's ideal wakeup call, and thankfully the spring-like shower ended as quickly as it began. He gasped as he tried to move, unable to decide if his head or his side hurt more. Red hot pokers stabbed his shoulder, arm and hip when he rolled onto his stomach and pushed up to his hands and knees. Swallowing the bile rising in his throat, he climbed to his feet. Dizziness swept over him, and he closed his eyes while he took a few slow deep breaths.

Rodney pulled the scanner from his pocket and squinted at the display. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely press the right buttons. He finally found the correct settings and located the stargate three kilometers away. He could do this. He _had_ to do this. Fixing his gaze on the ground, he began trudging toward the promise of help and home.

Forty-five minutes later, he spotted the top of the ring behind the gentle rise of a hill. He wanted to hurry, but he could barely pick up his feet so he took a deep breath and continued slowly, not thinking about the fuzziness in his brain or the blood running down his leg. He smiled in triumph as he reached the top of the knoll and observed the gate in all its glory. It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. As he eased his way down the small mound, he stared in confusion. Something was not quite right. He stowed his scanner in his vest and massaged his temples with his palms. He was seeing double, and the nausea was threatening to overwhelm him again. And then realization dawned.

"No. No, no, no, no, no!" McKay sat on the dais with his head in his hands. "This can't be happening."

One perfectly good stargate minus one necessary DHD. He was trapped.

OoOoOoOoO

Radek had found that working for Rodney McKay had its advantages – one of which was learning how to completely tune people out. While Teyla, Ronon and Lorne's team discussed scenarios, Zelenka had wandered about the room, checking displays and mining data. The research lab had the strongest power signal in the building, and McKay and Sheppard had disappeared from inside it so something here had to be responsible.

Another advantage of working for Rodney was that his off-world activities allowed Radek to have some alone time with the Ancient database, and he had been reading up on a security protocol the Ancients had been developing before they left for Earth. It had not been implemented on Atlantis, but the idea was intriguing. To be able to transmit data and people using beaming technology vaguely reminiscent of the Asgard could be invaluable.

A small, almost forgotten console standing in the corner of the room caught his eye. Zelenka studied the panel, staring at one particular read-out. The display was encrypted but he recognized the symbols from his research; they distinctly read '_Transfer Protocols Enabled_'. Cursing under his breath, he quickly attached his computer to the console to confirm his findings before calling the others over.

"Oh, no." He gaped in dismay, and his fingers flew as he sought the command to terminate the transfer program. The display flashed a warning which he accepted, and the console reverted to stand-by mode. Looking up, he found everyone else had gathered around him awaiting an explanation.

"I think I know what happened to Col. Sheppard and Dr. McKay," he began. "This console controls a transfer program that is tied in with the stargate. It seems to transport anyone in this room to another location every two hours. We were minutes away from being transported ourselves."

Ronon's face flushed with anger. "Then why did you stop it if that's where we'd find Sheppard and McKay?"

"Because I need to know exactly what it does and where it is going. Even if we transported to the planet to which they were originally sent, they may not still be there. For all I know, it could dial in a random order in which case we may never cross paths." The Czech gazed solemnly at Dex. "I want to find them too, but I need to understand this first."

The Satedan clenched his jaw but finally nodded. "Just let me know when you find something."

Zelenka and his two colleagues spent the next three hours sifting through logs and data from the console. He groaned in frustration. This was taking too long. After a quick consultation with the other scientists, Radek apologetically turned to Ronon and Teyla.

"I need Atlantis' database to help me decipher this information."

Dex scowled at him. "What does that mean?"

"It means this may take days."

Worry filled Teyla's face. "Days? What if they are injured?"

"They may not have days, Doc," Ronon stated flatly.

"I know, but that is the best I can do. This data is heavily encrypted. It is going to take quite a bit of time to decode it. Once that is done, we still have to find the right piece that tells us where they went. There is information on Atlantis' database regarding this technology, but I have not seriously studied it yet." Zelenka's shoulders slumped dejectedly. "I do not know what else to say."

The Satedan's body quivered with leashed emotions. "Fine. Then get moving. No need to waste time." He faced Lorne. "Someone with the gene should stay here in case they return."

Evan nodded. "I agree. I was already planning on staying." He turned to his team. "Marks, get the supplies from the jumper for the two of us. Reardon, you fly everyone else back.

After downloading all the information from the console, Radek gathered his equipment and headed to the jumper along with the others. He sat with bowed head on a bench in the rear of the ship, already writing a decryption program when Ronon joined him.

"How long do you really think it will take?"

Zelenka thought carefully. "It is hard to say. Normally, McKay and I would be doing this together. Do not repeat this to him, but it would go much faster with his help. I will need to write a decryption code and run it on all the data which I will then need to analyze. Even working straight through, I would say at least three days."

"I hate feeling useless."

"We will find them."

Ronon stared straight ahead. "I know. I just hope it's in time."

"Me too."

OoOoOoOoO

"Are you alive, boy?" a rough voice asked after giving him a hard poke in the shoulder with a stick.

Surprised to find he'd been sleeping, McKay cracked an eye open. Before him stood a thin old man with stooped shoulders, gray wispy hair and a plain but kind face. Rodney groaned in response, not daring to move just yet. His head still pounded, and the torment down his right side had not diminished. The man knelt beside him, eyes narrowing as he took in the scientist's condition.

"You're really hurt, son. I need to get you to a doctor."

Rodney tried to protest, to ask about the stargate and the DHD, but the only sound he could manage was a cry of pain as the surprisingly strong senior citizen lifted him. After placing McKay in the back of a waiting wagon and covering him with a blanket, the man climbed up and encouraged his docile beasts of burden forward. The jerking motion of the wagon was too much for the physicist's battered body, and he quickly succumbed to the inviting darkness.

XXX

Gentle hands washing his face woke Rodney. He moaned as the hands began to remove the shrapnel buried in his shoulder. He lay in a nether world, surrounded by pain, unable to wake or sleep. He gasped as the ministrations moved down his right side, methodically removing bits of metal and then cleansing and bandaging the affected areas. A small hand caressed his face, and he eventually opened exhausted eyes to find a young woman with a mane of black curls tending him. Her fingers brushed his brow again.

"Shhhhh…. You will be all right. Your injuries have been cleaned and a healing balm has been applied. Rest now."

Failing to find the strength to argue or demand answers, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

XXX

Voices penetrated his consciousness, soothing feminine tones answered by a rumbling bass. _Ronon and Teyla_? It took a gargantuan effort, but his lids finally lifted to reveal a vaguely familiar young woman talking to an intense-looking man with a shaggy red hair and a collection of freckles. The man spotted him first, and a delighted grin appeared.

"Hello there. Good to see you awake. I'm Dr. Drelor Sharabni, and this is my wife, Ressa. You are in my clinic."

Rodney tried to respond, but his mouth felt like the Sahara desert. He swallowed hard and coughed which caused the pain in his head to spike. The woman quickly moved forward, gently lifting his head so he could sip some water. The cool liquid was heaven itself sliding down his parched throat. She pulled the cup away as he tried to gulp more.

"Not too much. It will make you sick."

Giving an almost imperceptible nod to show his understanding, he took another tiny drink. She placed the cup on a side table and lifted his shoulders carefully to help him sit upright.

"Thank you," he rasped, squinting against the light in the room. "How long have I been here?"

"Laban brought you in two days ago."

"Two days?" Rodney pushed back the blanket. "I have to go."

Except his legs would barely move. He frowned in concentration, ignoring the disorientation and the throbbing from his side. Ressa pressed a hand firmly against his good shoulder as Drelor blocked his way.

"You have been quite ill. You have a fever, and your head trauma was very serious. I believe you are past the worst of it although the headache will persist for a few days. But you are in no condition to get up, sir." The doctor was adamant.

"You don't understand. I need to get help for a friend. He's badly injured."

"Tell me where he is, and I'll help him."

"He's not here."

"Then where is he?"

"On another planet."

Sharabni froze, staring concernedly at McKay. "What?"

"We were on another world when he was injured. We got separated. He needs help."

"You were on another world?"

Rodney rubbed his aching head. "Yes. We were sent through the stargate." At the blank look, he tried again. "The Ring of the Ancestors? Big stone ring in the middle of a field?"

"The Wraith Pool?"

"Wraith Pool. Yes. Whatever. It's a device that allows you to travel between worlds. My friend is on another planet."

Drelor looked at him suspiciously. "Who are you? Where are you from?"

"I don't have time for Twenty Questions."

"That's just two questions."

"My name is Dr. Rodney McKay. My people are explorers from someplace far away."

The man's brow furrowed. "You are a doctor?"

"Of physics."

"And you came through the Pool?"

"Yes."

Sharabni exchanged a worried glance with Ressa. "You must not tell anyone else that."

"Why?"

"Only the Wraith come through the Pool, and they bring death. If others hear you came from there, they will think you are working for the Wraith."

"You've never seen anyone else come through the gate?"

The doctor shook his head. "I have never heard of anything but Wraith coming from the Pool."

"So I take it you don't have a dialer lying around somewhere."

"What?"

"A pedestal with lots of symbols in a circular pattern with a large blue sphere in the middle."

"I've never seen anything like that."

"This cannot be happening."

"I am sorry for your friend, Dr. McKay, but I don't believe you will be able to help him."

"Ha. I know you don't know me, but I specialize in getting out of impossible situations. I'll just go back to the building and figure out how the transportation works. I'll either get myself home or back to the planet where Sheppard was."

"What building?"

"The big building left by the Ancie- the Ancestors."

"It is forbidden to venture into the Ancestral home."

"Why?"

"Because it is their home, of course."

"Oh, for God's sake. It's not like they're coming back." At the look of insult that crossed the doctor's face, McKay decided that playing nice might be a good idea. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, and I appreciate all you've done for me. I'm just worried and not feeling very well. Maybe I can find another way."

The young couple did not look convinced, and Drelor's smile was placating. "Perhaps you will, but I would advise you to let your body heal first. You will be of no help to your friend if you relapse."

Rodney considered the doctor's words. McKay knew that he would make mistakes in his current condition. He had learned his lesson after Project Arcturus and the parallel universe disaster with Jeannie and Rod. Neither he nor Sheppard could afford for him to fail again. He would give his body a few more hours to recover before he made his way back to the facility, forbidden or not.

"Fine."

"Would you like some broth?" Ressa asked.

"That sounds great."

She hurried off, and Drelor excused himself to see about another patient. McKay laid his head back and closed his eyes in an attempt to ease the unrelenting ache. An image of his team leader bleeding and unconscious flashed in his mind.

"Hang on, Colonel. Just a little while longer."

OoOoOoOoO

"_Kill him," a disembodied voice demanded._

_A small woman with shoulder-length hair stared down the barrel of a weapon at him and chambered a round._

He sat up with a gasp, immediately regretting the action as his body announced its displeasure. The dream shattered, fragments of it dissolving into nothingness even as he snatched at them. He covered his face with his hands, failing to suppress the tremors running through his body. He drew a shaky breath as his racing pulse began to slow and lifted his head to glance at his surroundings.

He lay in the floor of someone's home. A small seating area had been crowded into a corner to make room for his pallet. Several children's toys were scattered across the floor, and a basket of sewing items was perched on a table.

Using the table for leverage, he pulled himself to his feet, leaning on it for support as his legs wobbled beneath him. Nothing was recognizable, and he wondered where he was and how he had gotten here. Glancing down at the shaking arms braced against the table, he found dressings with angry red gashes peeking from underneath them. His chest was bare and also covered in bandages and cuts. He wore loose-fitting khaki pants made of a soft material but no shoes.

"Is anyone there?" His voice was barely above a whisper. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "Hello?" His body made several demands all at once, and he tried to decide whether to fall down, get a drink of water, or relieve himself.

He determined that he could get a drink when he washed his hands after using the toilet; collapsing would have to wait. Taking a deep breath, he pushed away from the table and took a few stumbling steps toward the far wall which he slid along until he reached a hallway. He peered in the first room, a child's bedroom, and walked unsteadily to the next. Finding another child's bedroom, he frowned and continued. Door number three was the bath area for which his bladder was grateful. Feeling a bit more human, he washed his hands thoroughly and lapped a bit of water from his cupped hands.

He scrubbed his hands carefully over his face. His one disappointment was that there was no mirror hanging over the sink, but he was not sure why he had expected one. Facial stubble scratched his palms, and the skin around his nose and mouth that was not bandaged was raw. Placing a hand on the wall for balance, he headed to the room at the end of the hall. Inside was a large bed along with a chest covered in markedly feminine items and another chest in the corner which showed signs of a male influence. A looking glass hung on the wall, and he made his way to it.

He was not sure what he thought he would see, but the face looking back at him was completely unfamiliar. A shock of unruly dark hair framed a face that was swollen and bruised. Weary hazel eyes gazed back at him. He reached a hand to his cheek, watching the reflection do the same. Numerous lacerations were revealed when he pulled the bandages from his face. Several days of beard growth covered the bottom half, but it did not really matter. He had no idea whose face it was.

Panic ignited as he stared at himself. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember, and the resulting agony drove him to his knees. Panting, he cradled his head in his hands until the waves of pain subsided. His strength sapped, he crawled down the hall and collapsed on his bed. His last conscious thought was to wonder what had happened to that man in the mirror.

_tbc_

_Big hugs and plates of cookies to you all. The muses are overjoyed at the response so far. Updates should be posted every 3-4 days._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Radek ran the calculations one last time. Satisfied with the results, he keyed his earpiece. "Dr. Weir, this is Zelenka."

"_This is Weir_."

"I have some answers."

"_Good work, Radek_. _Conference room, ten minutes_."

He gathered his materials and equipment and made his way to the top of Atlantis' main spire. When he reached the conference room, he found it filled. Elizabeth talked with Teyla and Carson as Ronon paced and Major Reardon drummed his fingers on the table. Zelenka quickly took a seat and called up his research on the room's main screen.

"I will try to make this as simple as I can. The Ancients developed technology that allowed an almost instantaneous transmission of data and people from one world to another. They used it on their most secret research facilities to prevent anyone, especially the Wraith, from tracking their movements. At specific intervals, set at two hours currently, a program dials the gate. A device in the room dematerializes anyone in the room and transmits the matter stream through the gate to an identical device on the other world. All data on the consoles is also downloaded. In essence, the people in the room barely even notice they've moved. The buildings, the rooms, the consoles are exactly the same."

"So the transmission wouldn't hurt them."

"No, Major. The transferal process should be pain free."

Ronon leaned against the wall. "Then why haven't they contacted us?"

Zelenka shook his head. "I do not know. Perhaps their access to the gate is blocked, or McKay has not figured out how to do so."

Weir's brows shot up. "Rodney McKay?"

The Czech chuckled. "I know. However, the data is in Ancient and encrypted as are all the consoles, and he does not have his computer. It has taken my team three days with the aid of Atlantis' database."

Teyla gazed at him, worry pinching her features. "You are saying they are… stuck somewhere?"

"Yes, it is possible. I have determined which planet they were sent to."

"What are we waiting for?" Ronon growled.

"We can't get there from here."

Reardon's head dropped. "I knew that was too easy. Why not?"

"The atmosphere is toxic. There is no way for us to get inside the building."

Carson spoke up. "Not even with EV or hazmat suits?"

Zelenka shook his head. "I believe the building to be shielded from the atmosphere. If we turned it off to get inside, the atmosphere would penetrate the interior."

"And anyone inside would die," Elizabeth deduced.

"Exactly."

Dex pushed away from the wall and resumed his pacing. "Then what do we do?"

"We go back to 546 and turn the transfer protocol back on. I can reprogram it to send us to a specific world."

"How do we prevent it from sending them at the same time?" Teyla asked.

"Hopefully by now Rodney has deciphered the console and will realize when the transfer protocol comes online again. I think it is a risk we must take."

Weir met the eye of each one and lifted her chin in determination. "Get what you need. You leave in thirty minutes."

XXX

Ronon gripped the jumper bench tightly in anticipation as Reardon landed the ship. The Satedan had spent the past three days trying to work off the anxiety and tension that had filled him since Sheppard had been cut off in mid-sentence. Dex had destroyed two sparring mannequins and had run for miles, but nothing would ease his frustration and fear.

It was the not knowing that scared him. At least when John and Rodney had returned to Earth Ronon had known where they had gone and that they were safe, but he had not realized until they left just how much these people with their strange sense of honor and sacrifice had come to mean to him. He had stayed with Teyla and the Athosians, not quite ready to be alone again. Though he had already known he would give up his life for any one of them, when Sheppard and the others had appeared that night at the Athosian camp and spoke of home, Ronon realized for the first time just how much he had changed since joining the Lantians. At some point in the past year and a half, he had found something he thought lost to him forever - a family, and his life was now inexplicably and intricately bound to theirs.

He climbed out the back before the hatch was completely lowered and strode quickly to the entrance of the building where Lorne and Marks waited. Teyla, Radek and Carson hurried behind him as Reardon closed the hatch and returned to Atlantis. Zelenka immediately began reactivating the transfer console while Teyla updated Evan. Radek pressed a few keys and stood back.

"What now, Doc?" Lorne asked.

"Now we wait."

XXX

Two hours later, the main console buzzed and the doorway disappeared. The room rippled and then stilled. The group stood staring at each other.

Finally Carson spoke. "Did we move?"

Everyone glanced around in confusion as Lorne took a few steps around the room. "It looks exactly the same."

"We have moved," declared Zelenka.

Ronon's eyes narrowed. "How can you tell?"

"This console I was working on is covered in dust. There is no indication that it has been touched."

The wall opened, and the Satedan raced out. "Sheppard! McKay!"

"Wait, Ronon," Lorne called as he glanced at the LSD. "They aren't here."

"What?"

"They aren't here. No one is here."

Dex stalked over to Zelenka. "Is this the right planet?"

"Yes. Give me a few minutes to study the console."

"Doc-"

"Ronon," interrupted Teyla. "Let him work." She placed a hand on Dex's arm. "I understand how you feel. You know that Rodney would have realized they could not survive on this planet."

"McKay might not have noticed the two hour interval before they were transported again," Radek offered.

Stifling his agitation, Dex nodded. "Can you determine where they went?"

"I need to be sure they actually went somewhere first, but I believe I can decipher that and program the console accordingly. Then we will wait for the transfer protocol to begin."

"Why wait?"

"Because if McKay is working on his end, I do not want to activate the program prematurely. We will never find them if they move when we do."

Zelenka went back to work as the rest tried to remain patient. Marks and Beckett discussed fishing while Evan and Teyla chatted about the impending nuptials between Corporal Stevens and one of the Athosians. Ronon pulled out his whetting stone and his knife collection, honing the blades until they were razor sharp.

After a few minutes, Radek stepped away from the console. "They were definitely sent to another planet. I have input the coordinates. The transfer should take place in just over an hour."

Dex growled in displeasure. He hated waiting.

OoOoOoOoO

_The fire crackled between him and the bound man. The woman with shoulder-length hair pointed a weapon in his face. He turned and was enveloped by a red energy burst._

"Wake up!"

The child's scream ripped him from the dream, and the image of the big dreadlocked man faded immediately. Small hands tugged on his arms.

"You have to wake up! The Wraith are here!"

He sat up quickly to find two boys, faces red and tear-stained, desperately trying to rouse him.

"What?"

"We have to go! The culling has begun. We must get to the portal before it is sealed."

He clumsily got to his feet and staggered from the house, the boys holding tightly to him. They ran with several other villagers toward the largest stone building in the middle of town. Shouts of panic and fear filled the air as people fought their way in, carrying children and possessions. Beams from the sky swept the ground around the building causing people to disappear before his eyes. A high-pitched whine pierced the crowd noise, and he glanced upward as a small silver craft flew over, the beam extending from it again. A memory flicked at his mind as he stared after the ship, but blinding pain erased the image before it fully formed.

A fire had broken out and was rapidly spreading toward the center of town, and people screamed as figures with long white hair appeared in the streets, aiming weapons that shot blue energy. Gripping the boys' hands, he sprinted through the chaos and pushed his way inside the building to find a stone ring with glowing blue puddle in its center. He stared at the shimmering circle, the familiarity of it speaking to him, but small fingers continued to pull at him frantically. He shook off the stupor, and they leaped through the beckoning portal.

He landed hard as they emerged from the other side, breath knocked from his lungs. Ignoring the throbbing in his chest, he scampered up and hustled the boys out of the path. He dropped to the ground as he panted for air and tried to clear the fog from his mind. Looking up into the faces of the two frightened children, he gave a weak smile.

"You OK?"

The younger boy's lip quivered. "Yes."

"Where are your parents?"

Tears began to leak down the small face. "Culled," he whispered.

He looked to the older boy who nodded, hatred smoldering in his eyes. "The Wraith took them."

"Tonight?"

"Yes. Right in front of our home." The boy's jaw tightened as he held the hand of his brother.

"Do you have anyone to care for you?"

"Our mother's sister lives on this world."

He stood, grimacing at the weakness of his legs. "Then let's see if we can find her."

Groans and cries of dismay rose as the shining blue light disappeared from the stone circle.

"What happened?"

The older boy looked at him with mournful eyes. "The Wraith have sealed the portal. No one else will be coming."

He nodded his understanding and took each boy by the hand, following the people down the worn path. He concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other as the adrenaline that had been fueling him began to dissipate. He had to stay upright until he got the children to their aunt's home.

The sun was rising, revealing a world of blue water and green trees, very similar to the one they had just left. The refugees moved dazedly toward a small hamlet on the coast where ships' masts could be seen in the harbor and birdsong filled the morning sky. He felt a tug on his left finger and glanced down at the younger boy.

"What's your name?" the child asked.

"I don't know."

The older one gaped at him. "You truly don't know your name?"

"Truly. I can't remember anything before waking up in your home. What are your names?"

"I'm Maref, and that's my younger brother, Preslan."

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Do you know how I got to your house?"

"We found you."

He blinked in surprise. "You found me? Where?"

"At the ruins. You fell when you left, and you've been sleeping ever since," Maref answered.

"You were bleeding," Preslan stated. "A lot."

"Really? I guess that's why I have all these bandages."

The older boy nodded. "My mam…" His voice broke. "My mam and I cleaned the little specks of metal out and put ointment on all your cuts. Then we wrapped them in medicinal cloths. Whatever happened to you destroyed almost everything you had, including your clothes. The pants belong… belonged to my da."

He ruffled the boy's hair. "Thank you for helping me, for saving my life really."

"Oh no!"

His heart seized at the exclamation. "What?"

"Your things. Mam salvaged some of your things and put them in a small bag. They are on a shelf in the kitchen. I should have thought to get them."

He looked back at the silent stone ring and the shell-shocked people behind him, closing his eyes in resignation. The one link to his past was on a planet being culled by the Wraith.

"You did the right thing, Maref. You and Preslan are more important than anything that might have been in that bag."

A bit of tension drained from the boy at his words. "What should we call you?"

He considered the question, wincing as white hot agony threatened to shred his mind again. "I don't know," he answered hoarsely. "What do you think?"

Preslan face scrunched as he regarded him. "What about Volan?"

"You can't name him after your pet gradlek."

"Why not?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Maref looked at him with raised brows. "Really?"

He shrugged. "Is a gradlek ugly, stupid or irritating?"

"Noooo…. Most are friendly and loving."

"Did you like Volan?"

The small boy nodded. "He was my best friend."

"Then Volan it is."

They reached the edge of the small village, and the boys hurried to a cottage near the water. Flowers bloomed in the front, and shoes were placed neatly at the entrance. Preslan released his hand and sprinted up the steps, banging on the door.

"Neera! Neera! Please let us in!"

The door flew open, and a large woman with braided blond hair gathered the small child in her arms. Maref ran to her as well.

"What has happened?"

Sobs racked the two boys, and the woman looked to him.

"Wraith," he said simply.

Her eyes widened and looked past him, searching.

"It's just us," he replied to her unasked question.

Tears pooled and then slid down her face as she nodded in understanding. "I'm Neera."

Maref wiped his face with his sleeve and sniffled. "This is Volan. He was hurt before the culling began. He's lost his memory."

"I see. Welcome to Trilox, Volan, and to my home. Please enter."

He gave her a grateful smile as his knees began to wobble. Wearily climbing the steps, he followed them inside.

OoOoOoOoO

They had sat in silence for the last half hour as they waited for the transfer program to commence. Nerves were strained to the point of breaking, causing even Carson to snap at Dex. Teyla had found a quiet corner and was concentrating on her breathing. She knew that she could not make time go faster or ease the worry of the others, and she did not want to think about what John and Rodney might be going through at that very moment.

She had never seen two people that attracted as much trouble as they did. She could not fault them; it was simply in their nature. Sheppard and McKay were very different in many respects, but at heart they were both explorers. Neither could resist an adventure, and curiosity warred with common sense on occasion. Her teammates, Ronon included, were some of the finest men she had ever known – courageous, protective, honorable. She was proud to know them, to call each one friend, and she would be devastated to lose any of them. She took comfort in knowing that at least John and Rodney were together and would look after each other.

When the wall reappeared and the consoles began to flash, they all leapt to their feet in anticipation. As soon as the transfer completed and the door opened, Ronon ran into the hallway. Teyla only took a few steps before she heard his shout of frustration. She turned to Evan who was staring at the life signs detector in disappointment.

"They are not here either?"

He looked at her sadly. "No life signs registering."

Carson peered over his shoulder. "None at all? Not even outside the building?"

"No, Doc. I don't think there's a living person anywhere near."

Ronon stormed back in the room and went straight to Zelenka. "Where are they?"

Radek had been furiously typing on his computer. "Give me a few minutes."

"It's been days, Zelenka! How much more time is this going to take?" the Satedan demanded.

"It will take as long as it takes! Yelling at me will not change anything."

Lorne took a deep breath, scrubbing his hands down his face. "Are we sure they were here?"

"According to the data on the last planet, this is where they were sent."

Marks had been scanning the area and returned to the room. "I'm not picking up their subcutaneous transmitters, and I doubt they left this building. It's too cold outside for anything to survive, Sir."

"So we'll assume McKay knew that, and they were working here when the transfer activated. Radek?"

"Just another minute…. Yes. They transferred again." He keyed in a few commands. "I have set the coordinates for the next world."

Ronon kicked at a console and glared at Radek. "Call me a few minutes before the transfer." He practically ran from the room.

Zelenka and Beckett traded sympathetic glances, and then, desperately needing a distraction, they joined Marks and Lorne in a hand of poker. Teyla went back to her corner and tried to breathe.

OoOoOoOoO

Chills raced up and down Rodney's spine, and he shivered under the blankets Ressa had brought. He felt horrible. The spike in his temple had dulled slightly, but the fever remained and his entire body ached. He had eaten more soup simply to keep his blood sugar up, not out of hunger. Drelor had brought his belongings which allowed McKay to work with his scanner between naps. He had located the gate and the building, planning to get back to the facility as soon as he could stand up by himself.

He could almost hear Sheppard telling him to stay positive, and he smiled in spite of himself. A good night's rest and he would be back on his game. He took a last drink of water and pulled the blankets up to his chin. Tomorrow had to be a better day.

OoOoOoOoO

Carson tossed another dismal hand of cards on the floor. "I fold. Again."

He had never seen anyone as lucky as cards as Lt. Marks. If the man was cheating, Beckett could not spot it, but he owed the young man the next batch of cookies from his mum and his DVDs of both Bourne movies. Zelenka showed his cards, and the young soldier smirked.

"Full house, Doc. Sorry."

"Do you play chess, Lieutenant?"

Evan started laughing. "Forget it, Radek. Marks here is a cards-only man. No way you're going to sucker him into giving you that bottle of Scotch back."

A beeping sound echoed through the room, and the Czech jumped to his feet, clicking his radio. "Ronon, this is Radek. The transfer will start in five minutes."

Pounding boots could be heard in the hall as the group picked up their gear in preparation. Dex skidded into the room, sweat pouring from every pore.

Carson wrinkled his nose at him. "What have you been doing?"

"Running."

"For two solid hours?"

"Yes."

"With your coat and all your equipment on?"

The Satedan lifted a shoulder nonchalantly. "That's usually what I'm wearing when someone is chasing us."

"Then I guess that makes sense."

The wall whooshed into place, and the room rippled.

"Oh, God," Carson breathed. He was standing in a pool of blood, and the remains of an exploded console were scattered around him. He glanced up to find his terror reflected in Ronon's eyes.

"Damn," muttered Lorne. "I've got blood and puke over here."

An opening appeared, and the Satedan strode quickly from the room. "There's more blood out here."

Beckett turned to Evan. "Major, are you reading any life signs."

"No, not in here."

"Anywhere then?"

"Yes, a few outside."

They exited the room to find Dex crouched in the hall. "There are drag marks from the room to here and only one set of footprints leading to the door. Looks like Sheppard carried McKay out of here."

Thankful for advanced Ancient equipment, Carson stooped to sample a few of the blood drops. "This blood spatter here is Rodney's type. The bit over there is Col. Sheppard's."

Teyla gave a small smile. "So they both made it this far."

Ronon pulled his blaster and followed the footprints and blood trail. "Let's see where they went."

They followed the trail through the atrium and out the door, staring in shocked silence at the scene before them. Rows of blackened tree trunks stood witness to the destruction wrought by the Wraith. In the distance, smoke rose from the remains of a village where a smattering of stone buildings still stood.

Marks stared for a long moment at the scanner before speaking. "Major, I'm not detecting their sub-Q transmitters or a stargate."

Peering over his shoulder, Zelenka squinted at the display and then at the smoldering ruins. "Perhaps the stone in the buildings is interfering?"

"Only one way to find out," Lorne said. "That's where the life signs are anyway."

They quickly made their way to the town, stopping to examine bodies as they went but finding none that had not been fed on. One by one the life signs faded until only the Lantians remained. Radek stood in the middle of the village, gazing at the destruction in horror while Lorne and Marks checked the largest structure and Teyla and Ronon looked through the rubble for any sign of their missing teammates.

Beckett had seen death before, more death than he had ever imagined, but nothing like this. Children, the infirm, the aged, all had been culled or fed upon. He gently turned over a corpse, wondering if he would even recognize his friends if he found them. Zelenka looked sickened.

"What are you doing?"

"Searching for Rodney and John."

"Their transmitters are not registering."

"They were in an explosion and a Wraith attack. I don't know what effect either of those things might have on their transmitters."

Turning a sickly shade of green, Radek stumbled to a nearby tree stump to empty his stomach. Beckett peered closely at each male that was approximately the size of the missing men, but none of them were John or Rodney. He finished as Lorne and Marks jogged from the stone structure.

"The stargate is in the building. According to Marks, something in the rock it's made from hides the energy signature and interferes with our radios." The major sighed. "More bodies inside, fed on, and the DHD has been blown to hell."

"Would the stone also block their transmitters?" Ronon asked.

Nodding slowly, the Czech said, "It might."

Teyla smiled hopefully. "Then they may be in one of the other buildings?"

Radek shrugged. "It's possible."

Each person headed to a small stone house and began searching, calling for Sheppard and McKay. The home to which Carson had been assigned was completely deserted, and he finished quickly. Deciding to check the bodies near the stargate, he began walking down the street when he heard a strangled cry. Teyla emerged from the shell of a home, clutching a small bag. The others rushed around her.

"What is it, love?" Beckett asked.

She just shook her head as tears ran down her face. Reaching into the bag, she pulled out a very familiar pair of aviator shades and a shattered Ancient device followed by a Glock. Ronon muffled a scream as he turned away, and Teyla stared at Carson.

"John… would never leave behind his weapon."

"We know they were injured." He gazed at the building holding the stargate. "Is it possible-"

"No," The Satedan said, his back to the group and his entire body quivering. "When the Wraith attack, you take what you value most and run. That does not include wounded strangers. And Teyla's right. Sheppard wouldn't go anywhere without his gun."

"This is my fault. I took too long to find them." Zelenka bowed his head as the weight of it hit him.

Ronon turned back, eyes glittering dangerously, but Beckett stepped in front of him. Patting the scientist's shoulder but staring at Dex, Carson offered what comfort he could. "No, Radek. This isn't your fault; the Wraith did this. You and your people did everything you could to find them."

Zelenka straightened and took a steadying breath. "I would like to take a look at the DHD. Perhaps…."

They all headed to the building, but it did not take long. The pedestal was completely destroyed, and none of the bodies inside was Rodney or John. The group dejectedly turned away.

"Even if anyone made it through the gate there is no way to track where they went," Marks commented.

Beckett looked at Zelenka. "Is there a way to tell if anyone escaped?"

"No."

"Could they be hiding somewhere? Is there more of that rock that would interfere-"

Carson took a step back as Dex whirled, anguish and rage filling his eyes. "They're _dead_. Don't you understand that? There is no place for them to run. I don't know where the stone came from, but look around you. Other than these buildings, this area is marsh. They couldn't outrun darts especially if they were injured. They are cocooned on a Wraith ship somewhere-"

Teyla stepped between them. "Ronon! That is enough."

"You know it's true."

She did not answer, but her expression spoke volumes. They were gone.

The grief-stricken group exchanged glances. Carson doubted that Evan had realized yet that he was now in charge. Teyla hugged the bag to her chest, her face white and streaked with tears. Zelenka looked numb. Beckett understood how he felt; John and Rodney were unique individuals that held a special place in his own heart. He could not imagine how Teyla and Ronon must feel, and Dex's reaction had shaken him. He had seen the former runner beaten, shot, tortured and enraged, but he had never seen him broken until now.

Marks cleared his throat. "How do we get out of here?"

They turned to Radek who was staring at the ground. When he did not move or answer, Lorne shook his shoulder. "Doc?"

Lifting sorrowful eyes, Zelenka answered, "What? Oh, we, uh, we go back to the building. I can send us back to the original planet where we left the jumper. I can- um…."

"Beckett was right, Radek. The Wraith did this, not you." Evan took a deep breath. "Let's go home."

They made their way back to the building in silence. Averting their eyes from the blood pools, they gathered around the transfer console as Radek connected his computer. He frowned at the display and typed a few commands.

"What is it, lad?"

"The explosion seems to have caused some damage."

Lorne's eyes widened. "Are you saying we can't leave?"

"No. It functions. A few files have been corrupted, specifically the ones that pertain to transfer history."

Carson's brow furrowed. "Why is that important?"

"It retains the list of the last planet dialed, not only from this console but from the previous ones. I was going to use it as a shortcut to 546's address. Give me a few minutes."

The Czech typed for a few moments, cursing softly on occasion. Finally, he huffed in disgust. "This is useless. The data is too corrupted for me to decipher in a decent time. Major, do you remember the gate address?"

Before he could answer, Teyla whispered, "I remember the symbols, Radek."

She wrote them out for him, and a few minutes later he finished programming and looked up. "The transfer will start in two minutes since there is no longer a need…." He cleared his throat. "Two minutes."

Carson prayed for the minutes to go quickly as the smell of blood permeated the air. His best friend was dead, culled by the Wraith, and John Sheppard with him. His heart constricted at the thought, and he could feel the grief welling up inside. Needing to mourn in private and doubting he would get the chance, he closed his eyes and bid a silent goodbye.

_tbc_

_Once again, the muses have been overwhelmed by the response. Thanks zedpm - good catch. Big hugs and plates of warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies to you all._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Fever and infection kept Rodney bedridden for another two days. He tried several times to stumble from the clinic, but he never made it past the door to his room. As soon as he was strong enough to stand on his own for more than five minutes, he dressed in the black pants and burgundy tunic that the Sharabnis had left for him and tugged on his boots. His right side was still stiff and very sore, and his head pounded, but he could not wait any longer. Five days was a long time, and McKay could only hope that his body's betrayal had not cost Sheppard his life.

Grabbing his scanner, some bread and cheese left from the previous day, and a skin of water, Rodney slipped out of the clinic at dawn and followed the energy signature back to the building, gaining entrance on the opposite side of the structure. Thinking the wall open, he found the room and consoles dark. Lights came to life as he entered, and he began working on the panels he had not tried before, thankful for his near photographic memory.

Hours later, he was barely upright. He had finally found the right console, but leaving the room every two hours had disrupted his train of thought, setting him back each time, and now his food and water were gone. He had stared at that display until he thought his eyes were going to fall out, but he had finally seen the pattern in the encryption. He made his way to the front entrance, deciding to head back to the clinic for a meal and a comfortable bed while his brain deciphered the code. He also needed to thank Drelor and Ressa for all they had done for him since he did not intend on leaving the Ancient lab again after he returned the next morning. He emerged to find a warm mid-afternoon sun on his face and a cool breeze ruffling his hair. He slowly made his way around the building, lost in thought, but stopped short at the group of men glaring at him.

"Um, hi."

A big, broad-shouldered man with short blond hair stepped forward. "Do you dare disturb the home of the Ancestors?"

"I wasn't disturbing. I was…" He really sucked at lying. "…um, I was tidying up."

The flush started from the man's neck. "Do you take me for a fool?"

"Well, I was hoping…."

Cheeks now flaming, he glowered at McKay. "Trespassing on the Ancestral home is forbidden."

"Really? Oh. I'm not from around here, and-"

"You wear the clothing of our healers."

"This old thing? I've had it for years. No idea where it came from." He was screwed, and he knew it.

"Where did you come from?"

"Canada."

The men exchanged suspicious glances. "Where is that?"

"North America."

"I am not familiar with that village."

"Really? I thought McDonald's would have made it here by now."

The villager leaned into Rodney's face. "You are beginning to try my patience."

"I have that effect on people." Now he was channeling Sheppard. He was going to get worried if he had a sudden urge to pull a knife from his hair.

"Where are you from, little man?"

"I've already told you. What part of 'Canada' did you not understand?"

"There is no such place."

"Just because you haven't heard of it, Gigantor, doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

The man grabbed Rodney's arm and pulled him forward. "If you won't answer my questions, perhaps you will tell the Magistrate."

"Ow! There's no need to get physical about it. We've just had a big misunderstanding. I was lost and saw the building. I didn't mean to disturb anything."

"Are you saying you didn't know it was forbidden?"

"Well, it's not like there's a sign or anything."

"Everyone here knows. It is taught from childhood. I will ask you again, where are you from?"

"And I'll tell you again. Canada."

The group surrounded McKay, forcing him to walk with them back to town. As they passed the clinic, he saw Drelor peering from the doorway. The doctor stared at him in disappointment and went inside, closing the door behind him. Rodney's knees began to wobble as he climbed the steps to a structure in the center of the village; it was three stories tall and painted a dark blue with small gleaming windows and a large door.

Once inside he collapsed on a bench while Gigantor stood guard and one of the other men went to report him. As he sat with his head in his hands, McKay hoped he would not pass out in front of the brute squad. After several minutes, he was hauled to his feet and escorted to an office where a middle-aged bald man with sharp features sat behind a desk. The room was small and stuffy with high windows that let in sunlight but little breeze. The man studied Rodney for a long moment and then addressed the group of men that had crowded in behind him.

"What accusation do you bring against this man?"

"He violated the Ancestral home on the hill, Magistrate," the big man answered.

"What proof do you have of this, Terosh?"

"We saw him, all of us," he replied, indicating the group of men around him. "We were returning from the fields when he came out. He was carrying this with him." The man pulled McKay's scanner from a pocket.

The Magistrate took the device and examined it carefully. Rodney's mind was racing to think of a way out of this. Sarcasm had not worked; maybe diplomacy would. Like he had a chance with that. If he got out of this, he would never take Teyla or Elizabeth for granted again. His headache was growing worse, and he ground one palm into his temple as he put a steadying hand on the side chair in front of him, looking up to find the man watching him.

"What is your name?"

"Dr. Rodney McKay."

"What is this?"

When all else fails, tell the truth. "A scanner."

"What does it do?"

"It scans…" So tempting. "…for whatever I'm looking for. Right now it's set to scan for energy signatures."

A contemplative look crossed the man's face. "We do not possess the kind of technology you describe. Where did it come from?"

"I found it."

"Where?" the Magistrate pressed.

McKay cast about for an answer that would explain it satisfactorily, but he came up blank. Teyla was the voice of reason, but Sheppard was the bullshitter. Together they might have come up with a brilliant answer, but he was on his own here. McKay's shoulders sagged in defeat. He hoped breaking the rule about the Ancient building was better than being considered a Wraith sympathizer.

"The home of the Ancestors," he mumbled. No need to mention which home.

The Magistrate's eyes narrowed. "You stole this from the Ancestral home?"

"I didn't steal it. I just… borrowed it." Rodney sat quickly as his legs gave way. "Look, you don't understand, and I can't explain it, but I didn't mean any harm. I was sent here in an accident that injured a friend of mine. I was using the scanner to try to find a way to help him, and the only way to do so is in the Ancestral home. Please, you have to help me."

The Magistrate's expression grew suspicious. "You said you were sent here. Who sent you?"

"No one sent me. I-" _Shut up, McKay_. He could hear the words as clearly as if Sheppard were sitting next to him. He put his head in his hands, feeling the shakes begin as his blood sugar continued to drop.

"Perhaps you are working for the Lakesh."

"Who?"

"You deny your involvement with them?"

"Yes, since I've never heard of them."

Terosh interrupted. "He claims to be from Calana."

"That's Canada, you overgrown… blond guy." Diplomacy was not easy.

The Magistrate leaned back in his chair, regarding Rodney thoughtfully. "How did you get here from Canada?"

McKay's chin dropped to his chest. "I can't explain it to you."

"You mean you won't."

"I mean I can't. I'm not sure how I got here. The answer is in the Ancestral home. If you'll just let me-"

"No."

"But-"

"No. The Ancestral home is forbidden." He glanced at the men still standing in the doorway. "Thank you, Terosh. You did well to bring him here. You may go."

Terosh inclined his head. "Good day, Magistrate."

Once the room had emptied, the man stood and walked around the desk, sitting on a corner in front of Rodney. "I just don't know what to make of you, Dr. McKay. You wear the clothing of our healers, but you claim to be from elsewhere with no knowledge of our ways, and yet you cannot explain how you got here."

"I would explain it to you if I could, but since you seem to be lacking the necessary PhDs to understand, it would be a waste of my time and yours."

"Try me."

Rodney sighed. "There is a device in the Ancestral home-"

"I will hear no more of your lies about that."

"It isn't a lie! Your Ancestors were highly advanced but really careless about leaving their experiments active. We accidentally-"

"Enough! You leave me no choice. You will be jailed until you decide to cooperate."

"What? You can't do that!"

The man cocked his head to the side and gave a small smile. "Of course I can. I'm the Magistrate." The smile faded. "I take no pleasure in incarcerating you, but I simply cannot have you running loose in my village. Either you have broken one of our highest laws by entering the Ancestral home, or you are working in connection with one of our enemies. Or perhaps you are a Wraith collaborator."

"I am not a Wraith collaborator. I hate the Wraith. And I'm not working for your enemies either."

"Then tell me where you came from and how you got here."

"I have told you. You just don't want to listen."

"Very well." The Magistrate called for a guard. "Take him downstairs."

The guard bowed his head. "As you wish," he said as he yanked Rodney from the chair.

"Magistrate, please! My friend is going to die if I don't help him."

The man looked at McKay sadly. "I am sorry for your friend. Perhaps you will be more willing to talk tomorrow." He sat down behind his desk, effectively dismissing the guard and Rodney.

McKay was hauled roughly from the room and down a flight of stairs to be processed. After being stripped and subjected to the most humiliating search he could imagine, he was escorted to the showers and given a colorless tunic with matching trousers and a pair of slippers that were two sizes too big. He was shoved into a tiny, windowless room that was dank and smelled of mildew and human waste. The floorboards were warped and filthy while the walls were covered in carved graffiti. A thin mattress and a threadbare blanket lay in one corner and a bucket sat in another.

His legs could no longer hold him, and he collapsed to the floor. He lay there for a moment, debating whether the mattress or the floor was dirtier. Deciding they were equally disgusting, he closed his eyes and slept.

OoOoOoOoO

Dawn was Volan's favorite time of the day, the stillness, the sound of the water gently lapping the edges of the shore, the birds singing, the freshness of a new day after a night of dreams. He sat on the dock as the suns rose together, chasing the darkness from the sky and from his mind. After he had awakened Neera's household for the third time that first night, screaming from dreams, he began sleeping outside. Something about hearing the waves soothed him like nothing else could.

He knew he had scared the boys, but he had no explanation for the tremors his nightmares left. The images were too ephemeral for him to grasp long enough to understand. He could remember a few faces: a woman with shoulder-length hair whom he fought constantly with sticks, a large dreadlocked man with a red energy weapon, and an average man with blue eyes who yelled a lot. The other visions were violent – guns, explosions, screaming, fighting. The worst was of a man with dark hair and cold, hate-filled eyes who commanded a Wraith. Sleep never returned after that dream.

Volan stood, dusting his pants, and retraced his steps to the cottage. Neera and her husband, Wenn, had taken him in and treated him like a part of their family from the first moment he arrived. They were an older, childless couple, and they had an obvious affection for Preslan and Maref. Volan had slept the entire first day there, only waking because of the dreams. Since then, Neera had stuffed him with food and tended to his wounds which were healing nicely and had faded to a dull pink from the fiery red they had been.

This was his morning to cook breakfast so he hurried to clean up before the others arose. Finishing his bath, he stared at the face in the mirror as he shaved stubble that seemed ever present. Even after the swelling had diminished and the beard had been removed two days ago, he still did not recognize himself. The hazel eyes looking back at him were pain-filled and exhausted even though he had slept for hours. He could see the faint scar in the center of his chest from the Wraith feeding that haunted his dreams, and he closed his eyes, trying to shake the image away. He wondered, not for the first time, what crime he had committed to be punished like this. But after carefully considering the violence in his mind, he decided he really did not want to know.

Whatever had happened to him was in the past. He had a future now in this sleepy little coastal town. He loved being on the water, and Wenn had offered him a place on his fishing boat. He had a small group of people that cared for him, and he cared for them. Living a quiet life on Trilox would suit him just fine.

OoOoOoOoO

The few times that Rodney had been captured and imprisoned had either been short, like his time with the Genii, or active, like his time with Super Ford. He had never fully appreciated just how boring prison life could be. The days were monotonous. The Magistrate had visited every morning but nothing McKay said made the slightest dent. The first day he had tried the truth again. _What had he been thinking?_ The next day he had confessed to working with the Lakesh, only to have the Magistrate leave in disgust after Rodney failed to identify the enemy territory on a map. He had lain awake all night weaving a story of betrayal and abandonment that left him lost and hopelessly alone in this unknown village, but his jailer simply rolled his eyes and left without a word.

Those visits were the highlight of his day. A meal, for lack of a better word, was delivered at mid-morning and again in late afternoon. Rodney had no contact with any of the other prisoners, which was not necessarily a bad thing in his opinion, and he was not allowed to have his scanner or writing implements. He had found a small, bare space on one of the walls and began to scratch out a decryption code with the edge of an eating utensil.

In some ways, this was worse than when he had been trapped in the back of a sinking jumper. At least then he had tools to use and a definite time limit. Now, he did not even have a decent head wound to give him a hallucinated companion. McKay had tried to talking to himself, but that grew wearisome quickly. Then he had pretended to argue with Sheppard only to stop when he got to the inevitable eye roll and '_buck up_' comment.

The dampness of his cell had permeated down to his lungs, resulting in a cough that only served to enhance his headache and bring back his fever. He slept more now as his body tried to fight the abuse that was still being heaped on it, but he knew he needed more than just sleep. He needed some of Carson's good drugs and a warm, dry bed. He was in trouble.

McKay had a tendency to learn a lesson only to revert back to a previous, more comfortable behavior, but he was trying desperately to hang on to what Sam had taught him in that jumper. His people were out there, working on the problem, and he had to trust that they would find him. That was so much easier said than done. Trust in people was not something that came easily to him. His past was littered with empty promises and broken agreements from individuals that were supposed to care about him. Life in Atlantis had opened his eyes to a new truth; the universe was not totally void of men and women of integrity and honor.

Never in his life would Rodney have imagined himself on a team of warriors. He had worked for the Air Force for several years before Weir had recruited him for the expedition, and he had found the military to be inflexible with a bad case of tunnel vision. In truth, when he stepped through the stargate to Atlantis, he assumed he was done with wormhole travel. He was set to study the Ancient database for the rest of his life, and, at the time, he could not think of anything else he would rather do. But then a brash Major who was thrust into command of the military contingent asked him to join an off-world team. Prepared to say '_no_', McKay had been shocked to hear '_yes_' come out of his mouth. He had almost taken it back and refused, but in a rare moment of honesty with himself, he knew he would never be satisfied sitting in a lab. Sheppard's zest for life and adventuresome spirit were contagious, and Rodney did something he had never done before – took a step of faith.

He had not been disappointed. John could be infuriating, irritating, smug, and a complete pain in the ass, but he was also trustworthy. Rodney knew he could put his life in his team leader's hands; he had known it from the first day when Sheppard walked onto a hive ship to rescue the captured Marines and Athosians. McKay had been amazed to find that trust reciprocated when the pilot had yelled at him to use his brain to get the jumper unstuck from the stargate. He still struggled with leaving control of his life in the hands of others, but as the lights dimmed to signal another night cycle, Rodney held on to the hope that his team would save him, held on tighter than he ever had in his life.

OoOoOoOoO

Elizabeth stared down into the gateroom from the window in her office, silently begging a team to return with news that would give her another option. Awaiting her answer was Col. Caldwell. She had known this day would come, but she was still not ready to face it. At her continued silence, the military man rose and moved to stand beside her.

"Dr. Weir, I don't know what more there is to do. We have repeatedly scanned the four worlds they were known to have been on. I've had people combing through the rubble from the culling and wading in the swamp for seven days now. Teyla's people have contacted every trading partner they've ever had. Your people, and mine, are exhausted."

"I know, Stephen," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself in an unconscious effort to hold the grief in. "I just can't shake the feeling that we're leaving them behind, that they are out there, somewhere, waiting for us to find them."

"Believe it or not, I know how you feel. If there's one thing I've learned during my time in the Pegasus Galaxy, it is to not underestimate Col. Sheppard. I've come to admire, hell, even to like the man. And Dr. McKay is just as resourceful." He touched her arm, gently turning her to face him. "If there was one more place to look, one more rock to turn over, I would. Tell me where else to search."

Looking away, she closed her eyes in resignation. "There is no other place. Have your crew stand down."

Caldwell did not reply. Turning to leave, he paused at the entryway of her office. "Do you want me to notify the SGC?"

Elizabeth met his gaze. "No, I'll do it. They are… were my responsibility."

After a few minutes, she moved slowly to her desk, mentally composing her letters to the families. Of all the duties she had as leader of the expedition, death notifications were by far the worst. Having met Jeannie Miller and been a witness as the tentative relationship between her and Rodney started to heal made it that much harder. Of course, the knowledge that John had not reconciled with his family did not help. She knew he had a father and a brother back on Earth, but since she was notified of all incoming and outgoing communications she also knew he had never sent or received anything. She had respected his privacy too much to ask, but now she wished she had. Knowing the kind of man he was, she could not imagine what might have happened to keep him from his family.

Several failed attempts later, she gave up trying to write and left her office. The letters and notifications could wait. Weir found herself in the infirmary before she realized where her feet were taking her. Beckett was sitting at his desk, vacantly gazing at the wall.

"Carson?" she called softly.

The Scot startled and swiveled quickly to face her. "Oh, Elizabeth. I was just, um, well…."

"I know. We all are."

"Is there something I can do for you?"

She blinked rapidly as she suddenly realized what she was doing there.

Concern coloring his face, Beckett stood and led her by the arm to a chair. "What is it?" he asked.

"I..." She swallowed thickly. "I needed someone to talk a decision through with. I usually talk to John, but…."

He smiled sadly at her. "I know exactly how you feel. What do you want to talk about?"

"I told Caldwell to halt the search."

"I see."

"Carson, is there any chance they are still out there?"

He sighed heavily. "I don't know. Teyla and Ronon seem convinced that they were culled, but they still search every world they travel to with Lorne and Marks. You know that if John and Rodney are able to survive, they will find a way to contact us. I can't imagine that having the Daedalus scan those planets another time will make any difference."

She pushed out of her chair and paced the length of the room. "I've spent the last two hours trying to write letters to their families. What do I say to them?"

"Tell them the truth. We don't know where they are, and we'll never stop looking. You know that every team that walks through that gate will search every world they encounter."

"If they were culled…."

"Then we won't find them." Beckett stood in her path. "Elizabeth, you need to prepare yourself for that possibility. The emotional strain on you, on everyone, is taking its toll."

"That's one reason I had the Daedalus stand down. I'll tell Teyla and Ronon when they get back, and I'll have Lorne redo the mission schedule." She lowered her eyes to the floor before meeting his gaze. "I still feel like we're leaving them behind."

"Aye, lass. But what else can we do?"

OoOoOoOoO

Fifteen minutes until staff meeting. He was going to be late. Again. Radek had never appreciated the administrative side of running the entire science department of Atlantis until now. No wonder McKay rarely slept. The past few days were a bit of a blur as Zelenka had met with the head of each department for updates on their projects and attended meetings with the rest of the senior staff. His people were still trying to shut down all of the systems the Ancients and Asurans brought online, and the repairs to the stardrive were slowly continuing, although he doubted they would ever need it. At least he was not required to go off-world.

He reached for his tablet to find the low battery light flashing. Cursing under his breath, he connected the computer to the database, transferred the files to a new tablet, and headed to the main conference room. In his haste, he did not notice the pop-up screen that appeared announcing '_Corrupt data detected. Recovery and restoration in progress._'"

_tbc_

_Heartfelt thanks to all of you for the wonderful reviews. I have enjoyed reading your thoughts on how our boys are going to get out of this. zedpm - you're right about the origins of the consoles. Big hugs to all of you._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Volan frowned in concentration as he tied the last knot. Mending nets was definitely not a skill from his past based on the way his clumsy fingers continually failed to obey him. Finally finishing the repair, he stood, turning his bronzed face to the suns as he stretched the muscles cramping in his lower back. The last four days had been cathartic, giving his mind and body something to focus on other than injury. He and Wenn took the boat out before dawn each morning and fished for several hours. Neera always had a filling lunch ready for them, and they spent the afternoon working on the boat and playing with the boys.

Maref and Preslan had begun to smile again and to show interest in the world around them. Volan knew Wenn initially had been reluctant to allow him to be around the children due to his violent dreams and lack of a past, but that had not deterred Neera from showering him with warm Triloxan hospitality. The peaceful quality of this world and its people had soaked into his soul.

Not that his nightmares had diminished. Actively avoiding the memories had lessened the mental anguish but not the dreams themselves. He still retained only fragments: a face, a word, a feeling, but nothing that made sense. The woman with the sticks, the big man with the blaster, and the blue-eyed man continued to appear, but Volan was still uncertain if they were friends or enemies. Other faces came regularly now – a thin woman with curly brown hair and another man with blue eyes. One face seemed to change before his eyes as a young man with dark skin and a big smile that morphed into a scowl while his face twisted and one eye turned black. The image that played in his mind was of him shooting that young man, and Volan wondered if that was what had led to this punishment.

Hearing Wenn call his name, he hurried to put away the nets and hopped onto the dock. He found the older man completing the final sale to a local merchant.

"Ah, Volan. There you are. Have you finished your work?"

"The nets are mended and stored. Did you get a good price for today's catch?"

Wenn's broad face widened into a smile as he brushed long gray hair from his eyes. "Indeed I did. In fact, that was part of the reason I called for you. Would you be interested in accompanying me to the Deneb trade fair in two days time?"

Volan's breath caught, and the Triloxan noticed the hesitation. "Neera is very fond of the spices from Lobi, and we usually go to the fair together, but we don't think Maref and Preslan are quite ready to go through the portal again. I will understand if you are not as well."

"I'm not afraid, at least not of going through the portal, but I don't know who did this to me. I don't want to put your family in danger."

Comprehension softened the older man's visage. "We are in no danger, from you or anyone else. The individuals that hurt you don't know where you are and won't know that we'll be on Deneb."

"And if I forget again?"

"We will not abandon you, son. We will write down your name and the symbols of this world for you to keep in case we are separated and your memory fades."

Volan felt slightly foolish, but the idea of starting over again scared him more than he would like to admit. He bit his lower lip as he weighed the pros and cons. "OK. I can't hide here forever, and the Deneb trade fair does sound interesting."

"Good!" Wenn clapped a strong hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Now, I believe I can smell Neera's lykress stew from here. Let's get home."

OoOoOoOoO

Hoping the coffee had already been made, Radek stumbled bleary-eyed into the lab. He had slept for more than four hours for the first time in a week, but he was still a little sleep-deprived. Yesterday, he had reduced one of the chemists to tears over nothing. He, Radek Zelenka, had done so. Filled with shame, he had profusely apologized and immediately sent himself to bed. But duty called, and he was back at it again.

To top it all off, he had misplaced his favorite tablet, but, looking at the disaster he called a desk, he was not surprised. Reports were stacked a half-meter thick along with research from the last three projects he had never completed, four empty coffee mugs, and a tray filled with a meal he had not eaten. He stared at the mess for a full minute before he pushed up his sleeves and began to clean. An hour later, he had organized piles based on priority and gotten rid of the dishes. Happily, he had found his tablet at the bottom of the pile, still connected to the Ancient database.

Zelenka powered on the computer and blinked in surprise when a screen appeared notifying him that corrupted data had been restored. He paused, trying to remember what had needed to be fixed, but nothing came to mind. He clicked on '_Finish_', prepared to start the next task, but a niggling at the back of his mind halted him. Deciding it could not hurt to look he opened the newly repaired file and sagged in defeat when encrypted Ancient flashed on the screen. He had hoped to never see this particular information again, another reminder of his failure to save Dr. McKay and Col. Sheppard.

He stared at the screen, lost in thought, until he noticed something peculiar. Radek thought back to that day, retracing their steps in his mind. He had downloaded this file from the console on the culled world. There should be three gate addresses listed – the hurricane world, the toxic world, and the ice world. His display clearly showed four.

His heart thundered in his chest as he ran the data through the encryption program. He felt the blood drain from his face as the database confirmed his worst fear and his greatest hope. He knew he should notify Weir first even as he clicked his earpiece.

"Ronon, this is Radek."

OoOoOoOoO

Huddling under the blanket, Rodney curled as tightly as he could on the mattress. Shivers racked his body, inflaming his cough and headache. He did not have the strength to retrieve his morning meal from the doorway, although he could not have eaten if it he had, and he was feeling spectacularly sorry for himself. The Magistrate had not been by the past two days, and he was beginning to think his team was not going to come. He was going to die alone in this cold, barren cell. He wondered briefly if this was how Sheppard had felt when Kolya had him, but he knew better. John was the eternal optimist.

"I hope they found you, Colonel. Sorry I couldn't," he whispered.

McKay had thought he was going to die several times over the past two and a half years and had even made a list once of all the things he regretted not doing. He had not made much progress on it, but he was proud of the fact that he had reconnected with Jeannie. If nothing else, he had done that. And even though he would never tell anyone, he knew he had become a better man during his time on Atlantis thanks to people like Carson, Elizabeth, Teyla, even Sheppard and Ronon.

He knew his team would never stop looking for him; the mere thought of that caused a swell of emotion he was not ready to recognize. He had friends, real friends that cared about him which was a new experience for him. He did not want to die, but if this was the end, he was grateful that he had gotten the opportunity to really live the past few years.

The cell door creaked as it swung open, revealing the Magistrate. The man looked around in confusion before spying Rodney lying on the floor. His eyes widened as he took in McKay's appearance – glassy eyes inside a face flushed with fever and covered in sweat along with a wet cough that left him gasping for air. The Magistrate turned to speak to someone outside the cell before gazing down at the sick man again.

"Dr. McKay, I have sent for a stretcher so that we may move you to the doctor's clinic. I have been busy dealing with a crisis the past two days, which is no excuse, but I want you to know this was not intentional. I had no idea your health had deteriorated like this."

A disturbance outside caught the Magistrate's attention, and he turned slightly as a guard whispered anxiously in his ear. He left the cell only to back into it hastily as an angry Satedan pointed a blaster in his face.

Rodney smiled as Teyla, expression filled with worry and relief, hovered over him and the familiar sounds of a Scottish burr reached his ears. Gentle hands pulled the blanket from him as the poking and prodding began. Lorne replaced Dex, and the big man knelt next to the scientist.

McKay blinked drowsily at his teammates. "Knew you'd find me."

The former runner grinned at him. "Decided your vacation had lasted long enough. You've looked better."

A coughing fit choked Rodney's brilliant comeback, and Carson rolled him onto his side until it passed.

"We need to get him to the infirmary now," ordered Beckett.

Ronon scooped up McKay and strode quickly from the cell. Several heavily armed Marines escorted them back to the Ancestral home where Zelenka waited. Rodney had so many questions he wanted to ask, not the least of which was the whereabouts of Sheppard, but his body had other ideas. He slid into unconsciousness as the room rippled.

OoOoOoOoO

Carson laid his head on his desk, enjoying the little oasis of sanity that his office provided. The past day had been a roller coaster ride as Radek had revealed that another transfer had occurred, and they had, in all likelihood, left someone behind. They had raced to the planet, overjoyed as Rodney's subcutaneous transmitter registered on the scanner and dismayed to find him imprisoned and gravely ill. They simply could not lose him now.

The first few hours had been touch and go. Pneumonia had settled deep in his lungs, and his body was incredibly weak from the entire ordeal, but he had turned a corner early this morning and had been sleeping peacefully since. His fever was decreasing, and the antibiotics pumping into his system were helping him to fight. The oxygen mask had been replaced with a nasal cannula, and two IVs were steadily supplying needed fluids.

McKay had awakened briefly about an hour ago and had glanced around frantically before his gaze found Ronon and Teyla. Beckett had seen the question in his friend's eyes as he continued to search for a face that would not be found, but the physician could not bear the thought of providing the answer. Rodney had been too exhausted to stay awake for long and had immediately gone back to sleep, but Carson knew they could not hide the truth from him forever.

The rumble of Ronon's voice echoed in the infirmary, and Beckett glanced up to see McKay struggling to rise. The Scot hurried from his office, checking monitors as he went.

"And what do you think you're doing?"

"No one… will… answer my… questions, dammit. Now… I'm not going… to ask again. Where is… Sheppard?" the physicist demanded.

"Calm down, Rodney. Your lungs are just beginning to clear. No need to make them worse."

"Carson…" he ground between clenched teeth.

Beckett exchanged glances with Teyla and Ronon. The Athosian's eyes had filled with tears, and Dex's jaw muscles popped. Sighing, the doctor squeezed McKay's forearm.

"We don't know where he is, Rodney. We can't find him."

"What? How could you find… me and not… him?"

"We found the planet he was on, but he wasn't there. We hope-"

"The planet was culled, McKay." Ronon was direct as always.

Rodney's eyes widened as he looked from one to the other. "Oh, God." He closed his eyes and swallowed convulsively. "I killed him, didn't I?" he whispered.

"What?" Carson could not contain his shock. "Of course not. First, we don't know he's dead, but even if he is, you certainly didn't do it."

"I dragged him… out of that room but… stupidly went back for my… scanner and got caught inside… during another move. I left… him there to get culled… by the Wraith. It's my fault."

"Rodney, the Wraith are to blame, not you," Teyla soothed.

Rolling away from them, McKay did not respond.

Teyla glared at Ronon as she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him from earshot. "Was that necessary?"

"He deserved to know."

"Yes, he did, but not quite so bluntly, lad."

The Satedan opened his mouth to reply but closed it again and nodded.

"Well, what's done is done." Beckett inspected the two carefully. "When was the last time you slept or ate?"

Squirming under his gaze, Teyla finally answered. "It has been a while."

"Go. Now. I'll contact you if there is any change. I don't want to see either of you in here until after breakfast tomorrow. Understood?"

Ronon prepared to argue, but Teyla placed a firm hand on his arm. "We understand. Good night, Carson."

Once they had gone, Beckett ventured back to McKay's bedside. Tension drew the scientist's shoulders up to his neck as he pretended to sleep.

"I know you're awake, Rodney. Talk to me."

"Go away, Carson," he answered hoarsely.

"Not until you face me."

McKay shifted slightly and glowered at him. "Satisfied?" His voice was thick with bitterness.

"No, I'm not. I want you to listen to me. This is not your fault. You had a concussion and were bleeding. You did what you could to help Col. Sheppard."

"Yeah, and how's that… working out for him so far?"

"We know the planet was culled, but we don't know John was there when it happened."

"Then where is he, Carson? I know… he was injured. One of those damn consoles malfunctioned… and almost killed us. He was unconscious and bleeding… when I left him."

"What exactly happened with the console?"

"He was trying to activate… it when something went wrong. He started convulsing, and I knocked him… away from it just as it exploded."

"Then you probably saved his life."

"Only to have it sucked out by a Wraith! Again!" Blue eyes filled with pain and guilt begged silently for absolution.

"We don't know that. We're still searching for him. No one is giving up."

"Don't lie to me. I could tell… Teyla and Ronon… think he's dead. Are you trying… to tell me that you don't?"

"The last time I thought Col. Sheppard had been killed by a Wraith, I found him perfectly healthy and as young as ever."

"And you think that might happen twice?"

"I simply meant that I never count John out. With the kind of luck he has, he must be Irish."

A ghost of a smile skimmed McKay's face, but it was gone quickly. "Do you really think he's alive?"

Carson carefully considered the question. "I don't know, Rodney. I do know that if he is, we will find him." He gently squeezed McKay's shoulder. "Now, get some rest, my friend."

Lids sliding shut, Rodney eventually drifted off to a restless sleep. Beckett drew a chair to the bedside to keep watch for a couple of hours, hoping to be doing the same thing for a certain lieutenant colonel one day soon.

OoOoOoOoO

Evan rubbed tired eyes as he leaned against the negotiating house in the center of the Belkan village. Trade agreements ranked up there with root canals in his book, but staying on good terms with allies and partners was important to the expedition in general and Weir in particular. Finding Dr. McKay yesterday had renewed hope in locating Col. Sheppard, and every team that could be spared was out searching. In Lorne's case, agreeing to trade talks with the Belkans was the only way to get open access to the villagers.

He wished briefly that Teyla had accompanied his team since she had an established relationship with these people, but he understood why she and Ronon had stayed back this time. If one of his team had been missing for two weeks, Evan would have done the same thing.

While the major had been discussing food production with Hendon, the rest of his men had been casually inquiring about their CO. One by one they returned, disappointment weighing heavily on them.

"Nothing?" Evan inquired. At the negative responses, he sighed. "Let's head out."

At the edge of town, a heavy-set man approached. "Excuse me. You are Lantian?"

The team went on alert as Lorne stepped forward. "Yes. Is there something we can do for you?"

"Is Ronon Dex or Teyla Emmagan with you?"

"No."

"I see. I am Mattas. Would you pass a message along to Ronon?"

Evan's eyes narrowed as he studied the man. He did not appear dangerous, but the good ones never did. "What is the message?"

"He asked to be notified if we learned the location of a certain man."

Adrenaline shot through Lorne. "Do you know where Col. Sheppard is?"

The large man looked confused. "No, that is not who he asked about."

"Then who?"

Evan's jaw clenched as Mattas whispered the name to him.

OoOoOoOoO

Early the next morning, Carson entered the infirmary to find Ronon sleeping on a bed opposite McKay. Beckett had known it was unlikely the protective Satedan would stay away all night, but at least he was getting some sleep.

"Morning, Doc."

Or not.

Dex lifted a hand in a wave. "I had breakfast already."

"Of course you did seeing as how the mess hall doesn't open for another hour."

"Still had some Pop-Tarts left."

Teyla liked popcorn; Ronon liked Pop-Tarts. The universe was a strange place sometimes. Carson checked McKay's IVs and monitors before reading the notes left by his night shift. The Canadian was continuing to show signs of improvement to the point of berating one of the night nurses for not bringing him a cup of coffee. Beckett made a mental note to remind Rodney of the repercussions of abusing the medical staff as he wandered back to his office to start his day.

An hour later, he emerged to find Lorne having an intense discussion with Ronon, Teyla, and Rodney. Voices were pitched too low for him to make out the words, but their expressions were grim. He hurried forward as Evan left and McKay whispered something to his teammates. Nodding, they strode purposefully from the infirmary.

"What's this now?" Carson asked as he approached his friend's bedside. He blinked in surprise as the scientist turned ice-cold eyes toward him. In the years he had known the man, Beckett had never seen him look so fierce. "Rodney?"

The hardness eased a little. "Ronon and Teyla will be back later. They have something they need to take care of off-world."

"And what would that be?"

McKay ignored the question. "What kind of place are you running here? Can I get a little breakfast? I'm starving."

"I asked-"

"Let it go, Carson." The tone was low and calm, a distinctly Sheppard sound.

Wanting to argue, the doctor decided that perhaps he did not want to know. "Fine. I'll have Greta get you something to eat."

"And coffee?"

Beckett rolled his eyes. "And coffee."

OoOoOoOoO

The doors to Teyla's quarters slid open at Ronon's call. "I am almost ready."

Entering, he waited until the doors closed before responding. "You know why I'm going. If you can't do this, stay here."

She turned to face him, and he smiled approvingly. Gone were the compassionate eyes of his teammate. In their place were the hardened eyes of a warrior. She slipped a knife in her boot. "I have no intention of stopping you."

"Good. Can you talk Weir into letting us go?"

"I do not need to convince Elizabeth of anything. I will tell her that I need to go in order to help my people. She does not need to know of which people I speak."

Ronon wondered when he would stop underestimating his teammates. First McKay's harsh '_Make that son of a bitch pay'_, and now Teyla's willingness to help him do it. This was one thing he could do for Sheppard, and he hoped that somehow, someway, his friend would know it.

Teyla contacted Weir and easily received permission to use the gate. They waited in the gateroom as Chuck dialed the address the Athosian gave him and the event horizon blossomed. Sharing a determined glance, they stepped through to Deneb.

OoOoOoOoO

Volan and Wenn wove their way through large shade trees and colorfully decorated booths from at least fifty different worlds as they searched for the Lobi. A clear sky and a gentle breeze welcomed travelers to the trade market, and the air was filled with happy shrieks of children and exotic smells from various food vendors. The men had already purchased a few toys from the Manarans and a bolt of cloth from the Eollusians. Wenn had chatted about the different peoples and planets represented at the fair, noting the quality of workmanship and the honesty of the traders in each booth.

The morning had passed quickly and afternoon was upon them with nothing untoward having happened, but Volan could not ignore the anxiety building inside him. He watched the merchants, looking for hints of deception or betrayal. He focused on one particular group, men with heavy double-buttoned coats and a menacing air. Recognition tingled in his mind, but he could not quite grasp the memory. The blinding pain that had begun to dull exploded behind his eyes, and he shuddered under its onslaught. He felt Wenn pull him from the path to rest under a tree.

"What is wrong, Volan?"

He panted a bit before answering. "Those men in uniform. I've seen them before, but I can't remember where."

The older man glanced about. "Do you mean the Genii?"

"I don't know. It's just so damn frustrating. The harder I try the vaguer it becomes."

"And the pain comes with it."

"Yes."

Wenn rested a hand on the younger man's shoulder. "Then think no more on it. The Genii are surprisingly not the simple farmers we first thought they were, but they have problems of their own to deal with. They are no threat to us. Sit here for a moment and rest. I have finally found the Lobi booth. I will only be a minute."

Volan nodded as the Triloxan hurried off to buy the spices for his wife. The pain was beginning to fade, and he lifted his head, squinting in an attempt to locate Wenn. Spotting the man at a nearby tent, he let his gaze drift over the crowd. The uniforms captured his attention again, and his heart slammed in his chest as the face from his worst nightmare came into view. The dark-eyed man was here.

XXX

Ronon hated shopping; he always had. The people, the noise, the smells, everything about it irritated him. And here he was in the middle of the largest trading market in the galaxy searching for one man. He and Teyla had been scouring the fair for three hours now with nothing to show for it. At least his height gave him an advantage. A glimpse of a familiar coat floated on the edge of his peripheral vision, and he turned in time to see two Genii round a corner. Nudging Teyla, they followed.

XXX

Rage ignited in him as he stared at the man from his nightmares. Rising, Volan's initial reaction was to walk right up to the man and kill him. He did not know the man's name, but he did know that this man hated him enough to feed him to a Wraith. The sight of Wenn approaching pulled him from his reverie.

"Are you ill?"

"Wenn, I need you to get to the stargate and dial home."

"What is a stargate?"

"What? Oh, um, I mean the portal. Get to the portal now. Don't ask any questions and don't stop. Just know that we're in danger."

"What about you?"

"I'll be right behind you. Dial Trilox as soon as you get there and go through. Don't wait on me."

He knew the older man wanted to argue, could see it in his eyes, but Wenn just nodded and hurried away. Volan continued to observe the man in uniform, trying to ignore the pain and emotions battering at him. When he was sure enough time had passed for the Triloxan to get to the portal, Volan eased away from the tree and cautiously began to follow, his eyes never leaving the Genii.

One of the other soldiers spoke to the dark-eyed man who turned and looked directly at Volan. Recognition and shock flashed across the man's face to be replaced quickly with malice as he reached for his gun. Volan knew he could not fight all of the men; he doubted he could fight just the one since he had no weapons. Back pedaling as quickly as he could, he turned and ran for the portal.

XXX

Teyla and Ronon were disappointed that the two men had not led them to Kolya so far. Their patience was rewarded as the men responded to a radio call and headed in the direction of the stargate. Ronon grinned at Teyla as they trailed silently behind the soldiers. Maybe they would find him yet.

The men they were following suddenly dashed down a path through the heart of the fair. Teyla met Ronon's eyes in confusion. The sound of gunfire spurred them forward.

XXX

The first shot grazed his shoulder, but the impact from the second knocked Volan from his feet. The bullet hit low on the right side of his back and tore through muscle and tissue before exiting the front of his abdomen. He staggered up, glancing back as he pressed a hand against the wound, and continued to run.

XXX

Ronon had been trapped in the stampede of people running from weapons fire, but Teyla's smaller stature had given her the advantage this time. Ducking under a table and between two tents, she had emerged on an unused path and raced toward the gate. She saw Kolya pull his gun and fire at a man running for his life. He was hit twice, the second one throwing him to the ground. He scrambled up and looked over his shoulder before bolting for the gate, and in that moment she felt her heart stop.

XXX

He was almost to the pedestal. He pulled the paper Wenn had given him from his pocket, carefully pushing the indicated symbols on the pedastal.

XXX

She ran faster than she had ever run in her life, screaming his name. Kolya jerked to a stop at her voice, slowly melting into the crowd with his men. Teyla ignored him as she dodged through the throng, speeding toward the stargate. She saw Ronon's head turn her way.

XXX

The portal sprang to life, his instructions slipping from blood-slicked fingers as he stumbled up the steps. He heard shouting and turned back one last time to see two other figures from his nightmares chasing him. He paused as he met the woman's eyes, his instincts at war with each other. But the fear that they worked for the dark-eyed man won, and Volan staggered through the shimmering blue to the safety of Trilox.

_tbc_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Teyla stared in disbelief as the wormhole shut down before she could reach the pedestal, and she turned to Ronon in panic. "Did you see the gate address?"

"No," he growled between clenched teeth, slamming a fist on the darkened dialer. "Dammit!"

"He looked right at me. Why would he run?" she whispered.

Dex's face clouded with a strange mixture of hope and doubt. "It was him, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was." She reached a hesitant hand toward the crimson staining the DHD. "And he is injured."

The Satedan eyes widened then narrowed. "Kolya?" At her nod, he howled in frustration, wheeling around to scan the crowd.

"He is gone, Ronon."

"He is on this planet somewhere."

"But John is not. We need to contact Atlantis so that someone may come to retrieve the address from the dialer."

Pulling his blaster, he looked back at her. "You do that while I finish what I came here for."

"As long as we are near the Ring, he cannot leave." Blinking back tears, Teyla gripped the DHD for support as the sudden absence of adrenaline left her feeling weak. "Please, Ronon."

He held her eyes for a moment before acquiescing. She dialed Atlantis, doing her best to avoid the splotches of John's blood, and entered her IDC.

"_You are clear to come through, Teyla_," Chuck's pleasant voice responded.

"We are not ready to return yet. I must speak with Dr. Weir immediately. It is an emergency."

The technician's tone tightened in urgency. "_Just one minute_."

Ronon paced in agitation around the area, his circle ever widening, while Teyla waited.

"_This is Weir. What is the emergency?_"

"We found John, Elizabeth."

Shocked silence ensued for a moment. "_What?_"

"We saw him here on Deneb. He ran through the stargate before we could reach him. Please send someone to find the address. We will also need a doctor as he is injured." Her eyes flicked over the small blood pools. "Badly."

Teyla could hear muffled conversation before Weir spoke again. "_Zelenka and Beckett will be there with Lorne's team in ten minutes_." A brief pause and then a much lower, "_Teyla, are you sure?_"

Tears pricked her eyes. "Yes, Elizabeth, I am sure it was John. But something is very wrong. He saw me but did not stop, almost as if he did not know me."

OoOoOoOoO

Wenn paced anxiously by the portal, willing it to activate. Volan had promised to be right behind him, but time was flying by, and the younger man had yet to appear. The Triloxan felt guilt pressing in on all sides; he had been so sure there would be no danger, had practically scoffed at the man's fears. The older man whirled in mid-stride as the portal came to life and Volan staggered forward to crumple in a heap at Wenn's feet.

He dropped to his knees next to the younger man in horror. "What have they done to you now, my friend?"

Blood saturated the right side of Volan's clothing from his waist to his knees, front and back. He lay unmoving, and Wenn, fearing for a moment that his friend had stopped breathing, placed a hand on the younger man's chest and sighed in relief when he detected the very shallow rise and fall.

Volan's eyes opened sluggishly, and his breath stuttered. "Wenn?" He blinked slowly, trying to focus. "Did I make it?"

"Yes, Volan. You are home. What happened?"

"People from m'dreams chased me. Got shot." The slurred words were almost indecipherable.

"I see. Can you walk?"

"Mmmm…. No. Don' suppose you've got a doctor 'round here…" His lids slid shut as his head lolled to the side.

Before the Triloxan could answer Volan moaned and went still. Wenn pressed a hand to the unconscious man's neck, finding a slow, weak pulse. Voices carried on the wind, and he turned to see his wife and the boys hurrying to his side.

"What happened?" Neera asked.

"He was injured on Deneb. I need to get him to Bresh. Do you know where he is?"

"Dr. Bresh is on Huprala this week. He won't be back here for another month."

He met her eyes, and she winced, glancing away at the truth she saw there.

"Can you carry him alone? I can ask Oran or Tedrel to help," she offered.

"Huprala's portal is in the center of the village. I won't have far to go."

As Neera pushed the pedastal symbols for their sister world, the children helped Wenn wrestle Volan onto his shoulder. Staggering a bit as he stood, he gained his balance and strode carefully through the event horizon.

OoOoOoOoO

Riding out the cough left Rodney weak, and he slumped back against his pillow, grateful to be home and on the good drugs. He swallowed thickly at the thought of Atlantis without Sheppard, and he cursed himself again for letting this happen. He had hoped that Ronon taking vengeance on Kolya would help assuage his guilt, but it had not made a dent in it, although, as he rubbed the scar on his arm, he still wanted the Genii commander dead. Stomach growling, he was reaching for the call button when the infirmary exploded into action. He froze as Beckett flew by shouting orders as he went.

"Hey! What's going on?" McKay demanded. When no one answered, he tried again. "Carson! What are you doing?"

The doctor's face wrinkled in irritation. "Not now, Rodney. I don't have the time."

McKay's heart constricted in fear. "Ronon and Teyla?" He could not lose them too.

Beckett jarred to a halt, compassion softening his features. "I'm sorry, Rodney; I wasn't thinking. They are fine." He hesitated then added, "They spotted Col. Sheppard."

The physicist's jaw dropped. "He's alive?" he whispered.

"Apparently so, but he is injured, and he ran away from them for some reason."

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. I think I'll go find out."

Rodney tossed the sheet aside and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "I'm coming with you."

"Oh, no you are not. I have enough to deal with already, thank you very much."

"Carson-"

"No. You are in no condition to be running around off-world, and you know it. I understand he's your friend, and you feel responsible for what happened, but having you there would distract me from helping him."

Beckett knew exactly which button to push because nothing else would have kept McKay away. "Fine. Get going then. Don't keep standing around here. And, Carson…."

"Don't worry, Rodney. We'll bring him back." The doctor sprinted from the room, med kit in hand, continuing to organize his staff as he went.

McKay scrubbed his hands down his face, hoping for one more chance to make this right.

OoOoOoOoO

The stargate whooshed to life, and Ronon whirled, blaster aimed and ready, only lowering it after he recognized Beckett, Zelenka and Lorne's team. The doctors headed to the pedestal where Teyla waited while Evan approached him.

"What happened?"

"We were trailing a group of Genii when they started running. The crowd stampeded, and by the time we got here, Sheppard had dialed the gate."

"And Kolya?"

"Son of a bitch is still here somewhere." Rage flushed his features. "He shot Sheppard."

"What?"

"That's what caused the riot."

Lorne's jaw tightened, and he hefted his P-90. "Let's go find him."

"He knows we're here. He's holed up somewhere by now. We won't find him." Ronon could see his own anger and regret mirrored in Evan's eyes. "We'll get him another day. Right now, we need to find Sheppard."

"Major?" Marks called. "I think you need to see this."

Dex and Lorne hurried to where the man knelt at the base of the dais and were immediately joined by Beckett and Teyla. The lieutenant held a scrap of paper with red fingerprints on it.

"I can't read this language, but there is a gate address listed at the bottom," he said, handing it to Evan. "The first two symbols are too marred for me to make out, but maybe the computer can narrow it down."

Ronon peered over Lorne's shoulder. "That's a standard trade language. It says 'Your name is Volan, and you live at the home of Wenn and Neera on Trilox.'"

The Scot reached for the slip of paper and studied it for a bit before running a scanner over it. "This blood is the colonel's type, but I can't be certain without running the DNA."

"Who the hell is Volan?" Lorne demanded. "And where is Trilox?"

The Satedan shrugged. "Never heard of it."

"Nor have I." Teyla's forehead scrunched in thought. "Is it possible that John has forgotten who he is?" At their stares, she continued. "He stared at me just before he went through the gate, almost as if he was trying to place me. He was well enough to travel here, on his own, but he has not contacted us in the two weeks he has been missing. And this paper claims his name is Volan."

Beckett gasped. "You may be right. Rodney told me the colonel was trying to activate a console when it exploded. Ancient technology uses a mental component, and if the overload happened while his mind was connected to it…."

"So… what?" Ronon asked. "His mind is messed up?"

"Yes…. Well, maybe. I won't know until we find him, but it does fit with what we know." Carson turned to Radek. "Can you figure out what the two missing symbols are?"

The Czech frowned in concentration. "I think so. Give me a few minutes." He sat on a step, typing furiously on his tablet.

Scurrying back to the fair booths, Teyla began making inquiries of the merchants while Lorne and his men kept an eye out for Kolya. Ronon guarded Beckett and Zelenka, pushing away the image of John running from him. He knew Sheppard was not afraid of him, never had been. Understanding the Earth man had taken a bit of time, but he had eventually seen the warrior lurking underneath the smirk and casual attitude. The man's devotion to his people had impressed the Satedan, especially after Kell's betrayal, and Dex had pledged his loyalty to Sheppard, never regretting that decision.

"I have it!" exclaimed Zelenka after several minutes. "I believe I have the two missing symbols."

The three men raced to the DHD, and Radek began dialing. As the event horizon bloomed, Teyla and Lorne's team rejoined them. Ronon pulled his blaster and headed to the gate.

"Should we not wait to send a MALP? What if it is a space gate?" Zelenka questioned.

"I'm done waiting," Ronon responded. "Stay here. I'll radio when I reach the other side." Even though Dex had not really expected a space gate, he still found himself releasing a pent-up breath as he exited the horizon and found a beautiful planet of blues and greens.

He clicked his earpiece. "You can come through." A pool of dark red glimmered near his boot, and he dipped a finger in the congealed fluid, glancing around the area for tracks but finding none. At the sound of his people arriving, he rose to his feet. "Got more blood here."

Beckett moved to check it as Lorne pulled out a scanner, grimacing immediately. "I don't believe this. No sub-Q transmitter registering."

"What?" Ronon glared at Zelenka. "We are not doing this again."

"I cannot be completely sure, but I believe this to be the planet described on the note. Perhaps his transmitter is not working."

"There is a village close by. We can ask the people if this is indeed Trilox and if they know Volan or the two people mentioned on the note," Teyla suggested.

Reardon and Sanchez stayed at the gate while the rest of the group made its way to the hamlet, keeping watch for any sign of Sheppard on the way. As they entered town, the busy sounds of life greeted them – hammering, gossiping, laughing, haggling. Life common to most of Pegasus but not to Ronon. He had rarely seen much outside of Sateda until his capture and then he had run so quickly that he had passed life by. Two boys staring open-mouthed made him smile, and he winked at them. Faces paling at his attention, they scampered away. Curious about their reaction, he took a step towards them only to find Teyla's hand restraining him.

"Let them go."

"They know something."

"Perhaps, but they are children. Antagonizing them and their parents will not help. We simply need to ask about town. And let me do the talking."

"Don't I always?"

She quirked an eyebrow that clearly said '_no_'.

"Fine," Dex huffed. "I won't say a word."

OoOoOoOoO

Nodding at Ronon and Lorne, Teyla left her people milling about in the street and approached a teenage girl with long black hair tied back with a bow. Dressed in a simple tunic, she was tending a vegetable cart in front of a general store.

"Good day," Teyla greeted her.

The young woman's head snapped up. "Good day to you," she replied as she regarded the Athosian nervously.

"Is this world called Trilox?"

The girl appeared taken aback. "Yes, it is."

"Good. My name is Teyla, and I am looking for a friend. Maybe you know him. His name is Volan."

Eyes widening as she peered past the Athosian, she shook her head as fear flickered across her features. Emmagan followed her gaze but found nothing amiss. Facing the girl again, she asked, "Is something wrong?"

The teenager's chin lifted as she met Teyla's eyes. "Nothing is wrong. I don't know anyone named Volan."

The Athosian smiled encouragingly. "He would be new to your village, perhaps staying with Wenn and Neera?"

"No," she said as her gaze skittered behind Teyla again. "I don't know a Wenn or Neera either."

Emmagan slowly scanned the area once more. Carson and Radek huddled together, talking quietly, while Dex, Lorne and Marks paced a pre-set perimeter as they kept a cautious eye on the townspeople. The Athosian saw no sign of threat to explain the girl's mistrust until she looked again from the Triloxan's perspective. Six strangers, four of them heavily armed, walk into town and begin asking questions about her neighbors. Teyla would not have been forthcoming either if their places were reversed.

Kneeling in front of the girl, Teyla put on her most earnest expression. "We believe the man you know as Volan is a friend of ours named John Sheppard. He is injured, and we are here to help him. You have nothing to fear from us."

The girl's face tightened in defiance, and she declared, "I have told you that I do no know anyone named Volan. Good day." Turning back to her cart, the teenager refused to meet the Athosian's gaze again.

Teyla sighed as she stood. "Thank you for your time." She studied the villagers as she walked back to her group, noting the townspeople's looks of suspicion and apprehension.

"Well?" Ronon demanded.

"She claims to not know anyone named Volan, Wenn or Neera."

"Are we on the wrong planet?" Lorne questioned.

"No, Evan. This is Trilox."

He turned to Ronon. "Did you misread the note?"

Dex growled at him as Teyla clarified. "She knows who they are; she is merely afraid of us. They are all afraid. Look at them."

The group glanced at the people around them, suddenly aware of the averted eyes and wide berth being given them.

"What do we do now?" Carson asked.

"We cannot give up," Radek added.

"No one is giving up," Lorne reassured. "Keep asking. Someone has to be brave enough to talk to us."

"This is not about bravery, Evan. This is a close-knit community, and we are strangers with guns." Teyla had never been sorry that she had adopted the dress and weaponry of the Lantians until this moment.

"Then what do you suggest?"

"Be courteous. Try to look as non-threatening as possible."

All eyes turned to Ronon.

"What?" he asked. "I can be courteous."

Lorne rolled his eyes. "Just try not to shoot anybody."

The group split up and worked their way through the village, politely making inquiries to no avail. Three hours later, they still had no information. Gathering together at the dock on the far end of town, they discussed their options.

"I say we force our way in and search their homes."

"You cannot do that, Ronon."

The Satedan pulled his blaster. "Yeah, Teyla, I can. I'm not going home without him this time."

Evan blocked his path. "She's right. I know how you feel, but further alienating these people is not going to help us, and it may hurt Col. Sheppard."

"Then what?" Dex fumed. "Just walk away and leave him here?"

"No. We keep trying. We haven't asked the folks that live by the dock yet. You, Beckett and Teyla take the right. I'll go left with Zelenka and Marks. Radio contact every twenty minutes."

As Emmagan and her group slowly made their way down the dock, they were met with the same guarded looks and denials. Feeling her own frustration and fear rising, she turned to gaze out over the water and found the boys that ran from Ronon earlier staring at her from the bow of a boat.

Beckoning to Carson, she unclipped her P-90 and handed it to him. "Please wait here, Dr. Beckett. I will return shortly." She smiled gently at the boys as she approached. "Hello. My name is Teyla. Please do not be afraid. I will not harm you." She took another step towards them. "I saw you earlier in town."

The children exchanged glances before the older one spoke. "Why does the big man dress differently than you?"

She blinked in surprise. "Ronon… does things his own way."

The boy's eyes skimmed her. "Do the rest of your people dress as you do?"

Her mouth went dry. "Yes, they do. Have you seen someone else dressed like me? A man with dark hair and hazel eyes? He would have been injured."

"Yes-" replied the younger one before his brother elbowed him.

"Maybe. Why do you want to know?"

Teyla drew a calming breath as her heart pounded. "He is my friend. His name is John. We have been searching for him for many days now. Can you take me to him?"

"No," the older boy answered. "He isn't here."

Trying, and failing, to keep the plaintive sound from her voice, she asked, "Can you tell me where he is?"

"Wenn took him to the doctor." The boy shrugged. "I don't know where exactly."

"Wenn? Is he your father?"

"No." The boy's chin wobbled a bit. "He is married to my mother's sister."

"Would her name be Neera?"

"Yes."

"Could I speak with her?"

The children whispered together for a minute. Finally, they climbed out of the boat. "This way."

She followed as they led the way to a small cottage. Shaking her head at her teammates when she passed them, Teyla waited at the bottom of the porch as the boys dashed inside. Muffled conversation ensued before a large blond woman appeared.

"There has been a mistake. We cannot help you."

"Please," Teyla begged. "We have been searching for him for so long. He is our friend. One of my people is a very good doctor. We only want to help him."

The Athosian heard footsteps behind her just before the woman stiffened, pulling the boys behind her.

"I told you we cannot help you."

"My name is Carson Beckett, and I'm a doctor. I can tell from the amount of blood I've seen so far that he is badly wounded. Please tell us where he is. We will never bother you again."

The woman's eyes flicked between Teyla and Carson. "How do I know you aren't the ones that hurt him?"

Emmagan bowed her head in exasperation, almost ready to let Ronon deal with Neera, but Beckett spoke again.

"I can prove he is our friend. Give me a few minutes."

Carson stepped back and clicked his radio. "Major Reardon, I need you to dial Atlantis for me please."

OoOoOoOoO

Caitlyn Donnelly, night shift attending and resident hottie as far as Rodney was concerned, pulled the stethoscope from her ears and made a note on his chart. "Your lungs are continuing to clear, Dr. McKay. If you keep improving, you should be able…." Her eyes lost focus as she trailed off. Reaching a hand to her earpiece, she said, "You want me to find what?" Her eyes widened. "Where in your office?"

"What's going on?"

She glared at him as she shushed him with her hand. "Of course. I'll send someone immediately."

"Tell me."

"Dr. Beckett needs a picture from his office."

"A picture? Now I've heard of everything. I always knew he was into voodoo."

"Not now, McKay," she tossed over her shoulder as she headed to the administrative area.

Rodney was done with waiting. Pulling the IV from his hand and the nasal cannula from his head, he slid to the floor, wavering a bit as he found his footing. He then shuffled to the office to find her digging through Carson's personal effects.

"What picture?"

Her head whipped around. "Get back in that bed."

"What picture?"

"The next shot I give you is going to be with a really big needle."

"WHAT PICTURE?" he roared.

She jerked back in surprise. "The one from your birthday party with him and your team."

"Including Sheppard. Oh, God, is he trying to identify the body?"

"What? No, he's trying to prove the colonel is a friend." Caitlyn rummaged through a few more stacks. "He said it was right here."

Rodney spied the frame tucked under a CD zipper pouch. He surreptitiously snagged the photo and eased from the room as he had seen Ronon do on a number of occasions. He raced to his quarters, ignoring the shocked glances the expedition members shot at the head of sciences running in bare feet and scrubs. He threw on his uniform, boots, and his earpiece then headed to the gateroom as he pretended to not hear Donnelly calling him.

Chuck stared at him as he entered. "Can I do something for you, Dr. McKay?"

"Beckett just dialed in asking for a picture. Dial the planet so I can take it to him."

"Are you supposed to be going off-world?"

Feeling the rage beginning to boil inside, he leaned into the technician's face. "Dial that goddamn planet, or you'll be back on Earth before the day's over. Understood?"

"Yes sir!"

As shaking hands input the address, Rodney ran down the stairs. The stargate blossomed to life as he reached the bottom, and he plunged through just as Weir's voice reached his ears. As he exited, he found two Marines waiting for him.

"Not a word. Where are they?"

"In town on the docks. I'll let them know you're on your way." Reardon clicked his earpiece as Rodney hurried down the path. He could feel the cough building in his lungs, and he let it escape before Carson heard. Clutching the photograph, he willed his adrenaline to keep pumping until they found Sheppard. Halfway to town, Ronon met him.

"Beckett's pissed."

"I don't care. What's going on?"

"They don't trust us. They think they are protecting Sheppard by not telling us where he is."

"And a picture is going to fix that?"

"They wanted proof that we are his friends and not his enemies."

Skirting the town, they headed straight for the cottage. Carson's face promised a long lecture and large needles in the future, but he did not say anything. Rodney glanced at the photo before releasing it. The five of them were relaxing in one of the rec rooms with chocolate cake and popcorn for McKay's birthday party, an event that was such a rarity that he could count on one hand how many times it had happened. Elizabeth had been there as well, and she had snapped the picture, presenting a framed copy to all of them later. Sheppard had just told the worst joke the scientist had ever heard but which Ronon thought was hilarious. Once the Satedan had started laughing, Teyla had dissolved into giggles followed closely by Beckett. Rodney had rolled his eyes as John smirked at him, and they had both joined in the laughter right before the camera flashed. It had been one of the best days of McKay's life.

Carson handed her the frame. "See? It's the four of us and John. I guess you call him Volan."

Neera drew a finger over Sheppard's face. "He seems very happy, much happier than I've ever seen him." Her gaze traveled over them. "He was injured before he came here, you know. He doesn't remember anything."

"What?" McKay squeaked, looking to Beckett. "That machine fried his brain?"

"Rodney…." Carson warned. "We need to find him before we start diagnosing him."

"Right, right. Sorry." He turned to the Triloxan woman, swallowing hard. "Please.tell us where he is."

She stared at the photo for another minute. "Huprala. Wenn took him to a doctor on Huprala."

"Can you tell us the symbols for Huprala?" Teyla asked.

Lifting her eyes and giving the photo back to Carson, she smiled sadly. "Yes."

Beckett pulled a pad of paper and pen from his pocket, and she jotted down the address. "Please take good care of him."

Handing the paper to Teyla, Carson nodded. "Don't you worry. That's what I do best."

When the four got back to the gate, they found Lorne's team and Zelenka waiting for them. Teyla dialed the planet, and they stepped through to find that Huprala looked remarkably just like Trilox.

Evan took a deep breath and pulled out his scanner, a huge smile spreading across his face. "I've got his transmitter." He glanced up and back at the device then pointed left. "That way."

The group sped through the village, focusing on the dot declaring the presence of Sheppard. They wound through the market and a sewing circle before stopping outside a small building on the edge of town.

Ronon squinted at the sign out front. "'Healer's Clinic. Dr. Bresh is available today.'"

He bounded up the steps with Teyla, Rodney and Carson close on his heels. Bursting through the doors, they found a small woman behind a desk.

"Can I help you?" she asked shakily.

"No," Dex answered as he pushed past her. The first room they came to had a sick child and his mother, the next had a very pregnant woman. But the third held one Lt. Col. John Sheppard, unconscious and sweating profusely, but alive.

"John!" Teyla cried as she dropped to her knees next to him. Placing a hand on his face, she turned to Carson in fear. "He has a high temperature."

"Let me see him, lass." Beckett ran a medical scanner over him, frowning at the results. He removed the blankets covering Sheppard and untied the bandages. "Bloody hell," he swore. "We need to hurry."

_tbc_

_The muses are again overwhelmed by the response and send warm hugs. They apologize that this was not posted sooner, but they were captivated over the weekend by new SGA episodes._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Oh, my God."

Dismay and fear clawed at Rodney when he got his first good look at Sheppard as Ronon lifted him from the bed. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead and dripped down his slack face. Body shivering with fever but otherwise completely limp, John made no sound as the Satedan shifted him to a more secure position and turned to go. McKay had no medical training, but even he could see a hastily stitched bullet wound on a distended abdomen. The horror he felt was echoed in Beckett's eyes.

"What do you think you are you doing?"

Two men blocked the doorway, one an older man with a broad, weather-beaten face and long gray hair, the other a small, younger man with close-cropped brown hair and an indignant expression. The older man wore a tan tunic with black pants and sash while the younger man was attired in beige pants tucked into knee-high boots, a flowing white shirt and a brown leather coat.

"Move. Now." The threat in Dex's command was unmistakable.

"That is my patient. I want to know where you are taking him," the small man demanded, standing his ground.

"You call yourself a doctor?" Beckett shouted, face livid, as he pushed his way forward. "Have you seen his abdomen? He is bleeding to death internally."

"I am doing the best I can," Bresh retorted angrily before taking a deep breath. "I have little training in treating wounds such as his, and I am trying to care for the sick on three worlds. My assistant stitched him up until I could get to him."

The older man cocked his head to the side, looking from one to the next, as he laid a hand on the younger man's arm. "You are his friends?"

Teyla stepped around the Scot. "Yes, we are. You are Wenn?" At the man's nod, she smiled. "Neera told us where to find you. Please let us through. We need to get him home."

Wenn's eyes narrowed as he scrutinized them carefully before relenting. "Let them pass, Bresh."

The small man moved grudgingly aside, and Ronon raced out followed by Carson. Teyla placed a hand on the older man's shoulder as she passed. "Thank you for caring for him." Hastening to follow, Rodney turned back when the older man called after him.

"What is his name?"

"Sheppard. His name is John Sheppard."

XXX

Teyla ran ahead to dial Atlantis and to request a med team in the gateroom while Lorne's team surrounded Ronon in the march back to the gate. McKay's heartbeat pounded in his ears, and he could feel a cough building in his lungs as they hurriedly made their way through the village.

"Is he as bad as he looks, Carson?"

"I don't know yet, Rodney."

"You said he was bleeding to death. Is he- You can save him, right? He can't die now."

"I'll do all I can. He isn't hemorrhaging according to my scans, but he is bleeding which tells me the bullet damaged something inside; I won't know what until I get him under the surgery scanner. My guess would be a perforated intestine."

They rounded a corner to see the event horizon shining. Dex moved quickly but cautiously while Beckett went around him and charged through the gate. When Rodney emerged, John had been placed on a gurney, and Carson's staff was racing toward the medical suites. Panting, McKay leaned over, hands on his knees, and coughed until he thought he was going to lose a lung. Feeling hands on his back, he glanced up to see the worried faces of Ronon, Teyla and Elizabeth. He waved a hand at them, trying to catch his breath and succeeding only in coughing harder.

"Get him to the infirmary," Weir ordered. "We'll talk about your little stunt later, Rodney." Her slim fingers patted his shoulder before she climbed the stairs to the control room.

"You OK?" Ronon asked.

Rodney dipped his head in response as he gulped in needed oxygen. The energy his adrenaline had provided suddenly vanished, and he felt his knees buckle. Catching him before he hit the floor, Ronon and Teyla each wrapped an arm around his waist and guided him down the corridor to Atlantis' medical wing.

OoOoOoOoO

Weir placed her trembling hands on her desk, slowly sitting down, thankful she had chosen this one time to be a procrastinator as she deleted the death notification to Sheppard's family. She pulled up the pilot's file and happily appended the MIA note as she had done two days earlier on McKay's. Then she typed up an email for the SGC and one for Col. Caldwell to be sent the next time they dialed Earth. Her people were finally home, back from the dead. The thought was almost more than she could comprehend. Clenching hands that would not stop shaking, she hurried from her office, notifying Chuck she would be in the infirmary if he needed her.

By the time she got there, Rodney was firmly ensconced in a bed with an IV, oxygen mask, and a very pissed off Donnelly reading him the riot act. He stared at Caitlyn defiantly, not saying a word but clearly not a bit sorry. Ronon and Teyla hovered nearby, staying out of the line of fire, but their pinched features told Elizabeth they were as worried about him as she was. Dex's eyes darted her way, and he gave a small smile as she joined them.

"Where are Carson and John?"

"Surgery," he answered. "The doc said there wasn't any time to waste."

"And Rodney?"

"Having a hard time breathing."

"I've never seen him so quiet."

"She told him she would intubate him if he opened his mouth."

Weir lifted a brow. "Good one. I'll remember that." She glanced at Emmagan, the epitome of calm except for the white knuckles as she gripped the chair in front of her. "Teyla? Are you OK?"

Startled eyes flicked her way. "Oh, Elizabeth, yes, I am fine. I was just…. Um…. I was…."

"Me too, Teyla. Me too."

As exhaustion overtook Rodney and he dropped off to sleep, Caitlyn adjusted a setting on one of the monitors and smiled comfortingly at the group. "His lungs are a little irritated, but he's back on oxygen and antibiotics. We'll need to keep him here for a few days until his lungs are completely clear and his fever breaks, but he's going to be fine, Dr. Weir."

"Thank you, Dr. Donnelly. That's good to hear."

"I'll check back later. And I'm sure Carson is taking good care of Col. Sheppard. He's the best, you know."

Elizabeth smiled her first genuine smile in over two weeks. "I know." Settling into a half-circle of infirmary chairs tucked back in a corner, she, Ronon and Teyla began their vigil.

OoOoOoOoO

"_Rodney, something's wrong."_

_Sheppard stiffened and screamed, his body convulsing. McKay knew he needed to help the man, but his feet would not move. He stared in horror as the machine exploded, shards of shrapnel shredding John's chest and face. Finally forcing himself forward, Rodney dropped to his knees as he stared into lifeless hazel eyes._

"McKay!"

Blue eyes flew open at the shout as monitors whined an alarm. Ronon leaned over him, shaking his shoulders with both hands. The hands moved up to grip his face as desperation filled the Satedan's features.

"Breathe!" Dex ordered.

Rodney obeyed, unaware that he had been holding his breath. After a few ragged gasps, the monitors quieted back to normal levels, leaving an extremely rattled McKay with a very relieved Ronon. The nurse who had rushed in when the alarms sounded checked the machines and the scientist's vitals, exiting quietly when she was satisfied with the results.

"You OK?"

Nodding, McKay waited until his heart stopped trying to beat out of his chest before pulling off the oxygen mask. "Bad dream."

"No kidding."

"Sheppard? We found him, right? That wasn't a dream, was it?"

"No dream. We found him. He's still in surgery."

"How long?"

"About five hours so far. Dr. Weir and Teyla went to get some food."

"Really?"

Ronon grinned. "Yes, really."

"I can't remember my last meal. Breakfast yesterday maybe? I think that's it. Right after you and Teyla left." He stared at his teammate as the memory formed. "Kolya?"

Grunting in disgust, Dex shook his head. "Got away."

"Damn. Is he the one that shot Sheppard?"

Jaw muscle popping, the Satedan nodded mutely.

"Dammit, Ronon! You go there to kill Kolya, and you let him shoot Sheppard instead?"

Eyes glittering, Dex growled, "I didn't let him. He found John before I found him. Do you think-"

"No," McKay stated flatly. "No, I don't. I'm sorry. You found Sheppard. That's all that matters." He scrubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to wipe away the lingering remnants of the nightmare and decided to change the subject. "How long were you stuck in that building?"

Ronon rolled his eyes. "Almost seven hours."

"Wow."

"We couldn't get that wall to open or back to the jumper without one of you so we had to wait for rescue. I hate waiting."

"Me too. Sorry you got trapped."

Shrugging, he replied, "Not your fault." He dragged his chair over and propped his feet on Rodney's bed. "I had Beckett give me the gene therapy."

McKay's eyebrows shot up. "Really? And?"

"Didn't work."

"What about Teyla?"

"The doc wouldn't give it to her. He said it wouldn't react well to her Wraith DNA."

"Hmmm…. Understandable. Too bad though. It would be useful for one or both of you to have it."

The infirmary doors slid open as Teyla and Elizabeth returned with several plates of food, some juice and a huge cup of coffee.

"For me?" Rodney asked hopefully.

Weir's forehead furrowed. "Do you drink coffee?" she asked as she took a sip.

"What?! Is this punishment for me leaving against Donnelly's wishes? I'll make sure she doesn't have hot water for a week. This is so unfair-"

"God, I've missed that," Elizabeth giggled as she handed him the cup. "Of course it's for you, Rodney."

He grinned at her. "It's good to be home." He took a drink of the hot beverage, glancing at her in surprise. "Hey, this isn't the mess hall brew. Is this some of your special stash?"

She looked at him innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The four chatted as they ate, catching him up on the latest gossip and happenings. He tried to relax, but his eyes continued to drift to the door as he waited for news from Carson. The conversation held an undercurrent of nervous tension from all of them which was actually comforting to him in a way. It felt good to belong.

Ronon rose suddenly, and every head swiveled as Beckett entered the room. The bags under his bloodshot eyes stood at attention as he pulled the surgical cap from his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"The good news is I stopped the bleeding. He was actually very lucky; the bullet didn't hit any major arteries or organs. I've repaired the damage and sutured the entrance and exit wounds."

"What's the bad news?" Rodney queried.

"It did nick his small intestine, which in and of itself isn't that severe, but the lack of immediate quality medical attention has resulted in peritonitis, an infection of the abdominal lining. We're pumping him full of fluids and antibiotics, but we may not have been in time to prevent sepsis."

Confusion was etched on Teyla's face. "And what does that mean?"

"Sepsis is when the bacteria spread to the bloodstream. All we can do is monitor him and hope he's strong enough to beat it."

Weir steepled her fingers and turned her gaze to Beckett. "What are his chances?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Carson sighed. "It's hard for me to say since I don't know his physical condition before this happened. From my initial exam, his muscle and skin tone are good so that's promising. He's a fighter which is also in his favor, and hopefully he still wants to fight. Living is really up to him now. I've done what I can."

McKay traded glances with his teammates. "You mean he still might die?"

"Aye, Rodney, it's possible. We'll have a real struggle if he goes into septic shock, but we'll hope it doesn't come to that. He'll be in enough pain from the surgery without adding sepsis to it."

"Can we see him?" Ronon asked.

"Not right now. He's in recovery. Once he's a little more stable, maybe one at a time for a minute each."

"Carson-"

"That's the best I can do for now, Rodney. I know you want to be there for him, but you have to trust me."

"We do trust you," Teyla assured. "We would simply like to… see him."

"I understand. I do. And I will let you as soon as I can. I promise."

"Thank you, Carson," Weir said gently. "Now, you look like you could use some sleep."

Nodding wearily, he yawned. "I could at that. I'm going to check on the colonel one more time and then grab a nap in my office. My staff knows to get me if anything changes so don't worry. I'll talk to you later." He yawned again and stretched as he left.

Promising to return shortly, Ronon and Teyla cleared the dishes and took them to the mess while Elizabeth headed to her quarters for a quick shower. Rodney lay back in his bed, staring at the ceiling tiles and wondering if Sheppard would live long enough for him to apologize for getting them into this mess.

OoOoOoOoO

Several hours later, Beckett approached McKay's bedside. "You can see him now, Rodney, but only for a minute. And I mean that."

The scientist wanted to argue, but Carson's haggard appearance and sunken eyes changed his mind. "I thought you were going to get some sleep," he said as he eased off the bed, grabbing his IV pole to follow the physician.

"Col. Sheppard had other ideas."

"What's wrong?" McKay asked as they reached the ICU area.

Beckett faced him with a sober expression. "The infection has spread. He's in septic shock." He placed a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "I need you to prepare yourself."

"He's dying?"

"He's not fighting. We've done everything for him that we can. He's on dialysis and the vent; we're pumping him full of fluids and drugs to fight the low blood pressure and inflammation, but it doesn't look good. Septic shock has a mortality rate of up to fifty percent."

"Carson! Surely somewhere there has to be a magic Ancient device to fix this. We're on Atlantis, for God's sake!"

"Don't you think we've tried?" Beckett scraped his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Every time one of you comes back here like this my staff searches the database for something, anything, that could help, but we haven't found any device that miraculously makes you all better."

"So this isn't a check for me to see how he's doing. This is goodbye." Rodney could feel his throat closing at the thought.

"I'm not giving up on him, but I wanted all of you to have a chance to say what you need to say just in case."

"The others?"

"They've already been in."

OoOoOoOoO

His stomach felt like it was on fire, and his entire body ached as his heart raced uncontrollably. He was hot then cold, and his eyes would not open no matter how hard he tried. Voices filtered into his consciousness, snatches of words and phrases as unidentified hands gripped his.

"…you saved my life twice. I'll never forget you risking everything to find me on Sateda…. …you're not a quitter. Fight…."

"…the best CO I've ever had…. …you can beat this, Sir…."

"…my people owe you a great debt as do I. You were correct that day about becoming friends…. …we need you. Please come back to us…."

"…we couldn't have done this without you, John Sheppard. I want you to know how thankful I am you decided to come…. …I need you to fight harder than you ever have…."

"…you are a good man. We've only just got you back, lad. You need to fight…."

The voices were comforting, wrapping him in a warm blanket of familiarity even though he had no idea if they were talking to him. _Was he John Sheppard?_ He wanted to obey, to fight, but he was so tired.

OoOoOoOoO

Rodney's heart stopped as he entered the ICU area, staring at the figure that lay prone on the bed, the untamed hair his only identifier. He was intubated and had more wires and tubes running out of him than McKay could count. A sheet covered him to the waist, his bare torso revealing numerous mostly-healed scars on his chest and arms with abdominal drains emerging from under heavy bandaging. His right shoulder was swathed in gauze as well, and electrodes were stuck to his chest and head.

This had to be another nightmare because that frail body could not possibly be John Sheppard.

"Carson?"

He felt a hand settle on his shoulder. "Go talk to him, Rodney."

Stumbling to the chair next to the bed, McKay slumped down, head in his hands. He glanced at the monitors which were mostly gibberish to him, but he could understand the dangerously low blood pressure reading as well as the staccato pulse. He reached a hesitant hand, careful to avoid all the IVs, and placed it on a forearm, squeezing gently.

OoOoOoOoO

"God, Sheppard. This can't be happening."

Another touch on his arm and a new voice, this one even more familiar than the others. His lids still refused to cooperate so he focused on listening.

"Carson says you aren't fighting. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think we've been searching for you all this time only to watch you die?"

Anger. That was different. The others had been quiet, insistent, but not angry. Yet somehow it made the voice even more recognizable.

"OK, well technically they've been searching. After I dragged your sorry, blown-up ass out of that room, I was sent to a different planet and got thrown in prison after I recovered from being blown-up too. Caught pneumonia while I was at it."

At least this one was entertaining.

"I know you are naturally lazy, but, seriously, letting machines breathe for you and do God knows what else?" A heavy sigh. "You know they are going to stick Caldwell here if you don't wake up. He'll probably want Hermiod as the head of science which, of course, will force me to resign. Not that Weir would do it, but it's the thought. I'd rather work for Zelenka than for his arrogant skinny gray ass."

He absolutely had to get his eyes open to see who this was.

The voice dropped to a whisper. "Please, John. Don't give up. You didn't give up when the Genii took the city or the Wraith attacked. We still search for Ford every time we go off-world. You refused to leave Ronon behind. You even allied yourself with a Wraith to escape from Kolya. Hell, you disobeyed two direct orders to take Atlantis back from the replicators. I still haven't figured out how you got out of that one. Anyway, the point is you can't quit now. You can't die. I haven't had the chance to apologize yet."

Sorrow sounded wrong in that voice. He focused with everything he had and succeeded in cracking his lids apart. A man sat next to him, one that he remembered from the dreams, the angry one with blue eyes. But the face that was staring off into the distance was filled with brokenness not anger.

"I never even said thank you for showing Jeannie that video. Family is important, you know, and you're like…." Blue eyes widened as the gaze sharpened on his face. "How long have you been awake? You're just sitting there letting me- Never mind. Carson!"

"Rodney! Keep your voice down." The voice with the musical lilt was back. "Have you lost-"

"He's awake!"

The other man with blue eyes from his dreams appeared in his line of sight. This face was kind and looked as tired as he felt. "Hello there. I know you must be confused and in pain, but don't worry, son. You're home and among friends. We're going to take good care of you, but we need you to do your part which is to concentrate on getting better. Can you do that?"

He thought he could do that. He blinked sluggishly as exhaustion gripped him. Home. He was home, and his name was John. He felt something shift into place deep within as he latched on to that bit of knowledge. Closing his eyes, he succumbed to his body's need for sleep.

_tbc_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Days turned into a week and then two as John struggled to live. Most of the time, he was completely unaware of his surroundings, but when he was, the familiar voices anchored him, and with each voice, a touch - a firm grip on his shoulder, gentle hands washing his face, a pat on his knee, small fingers curled in his. Too weak to open his eyes and too exhausted to make sense of the words being spoken, he held tightly to the simple fact that he was not alone. And slowly, the waves of pain began to ebb.

XXX

"…took your advice, and you were right. It was a great movie. The little guy that kept pronouncing everything as 'inconceivable' reminds me of…."

He forced his eyelids up and found the thin woman with curly brown hair gaping at him.

"John?" she gasped incredulously as she touched a device near her ear. "Carson, he's awake."

He blinked at her, confused and disoriented, and began to panic when he could not breathe. He flailed in terror and reached for his throat only to have her grasp his hands.

"You are on the ventilator. The tube down your throat is helping you to breathe. Try to relax."

As he thrashed in a feeble attempt to get away, she moved her hands to the sides of his face and leaned forward until their noses touched. "You are safe. You are home now; no one will hurt you. Shhhhh…. Don't fight the vent. Let it breathe for you."

Her soft words and calm tone soothed him as her fingers brushed his cheek in the same way Neera had comforted Preslan after a nightmare. John looked into her eyes, searching for any hint of deceit or malice, surprised to find concern and affection instead. Nodding in understanding, he relaxed and gave control to the machine. When she straightened he could see the blue-eyed man with the musical voice standing behind her.

Smiling, the man studied the monitors surrounding John before shifting his gaze to him. "Hello again. It's good to see you awake. Do you remember me?"

John knew he should, the eyes and the voice were so familiar, and his brows drew together in concentration. White hot agony ignited in his mind, and his eyes slammed shut as his back arched in response. He was dimly aware of alarms shrieking and the man's lilt growing thick as he shouted. Then something warm and inviting hit his veins and seduced him into the darkness.

OoOoOoOoO

"Carson! What just happened?"

"I should have known better than to ask him that! I suspect he received some kind of neural shock from the console explosion; Radek and his team are still trying to determine exactly what happened. Dr. Keller has found some entries in the medical database regarding a condition some of the Ancients suffered from as a result of equipment malfunctions. She is working up a summary on her findings, and we should have it to you in the next couple of days."

"Is there anything you can do for him now?"

"Not much until his body is stronger. We need to make sure that no one repeats the mistake I just made. That means no questions about his past or his memory."

"I'll get the word out."

OoOoOoOoO

The vent was removed from John's throat after a few days to be replaced by an NG tube which was taken out once he was able to keep his eyes open long enough to sip clear broth. To his surprise, the people from his dreams were the owners of the voices that comforted him. They introduced themselves, explaining where he was and what had happened to him. No one made any demands of him; they simply talked to him about their day-to-day lives. Once his catheter was removed, he was allowed to walk, but for no more than ten minutes each day. The dreadlocked man, Ronon, helped him to do so while Teyla assisted him with deep breathing and leg exercises.

He was still plagued by nightmares of a past he could not quite put into context even after describing the dreams to whoever was sitting with him. John recognized his caregivers were trying to protect him, but he grew frustrated with the void in his mind. After pleading for answers, he was shown photos of his life on Atlantis, and personal items were placed around his bed - a board with wheels, a poster of a singer, a pair of dark glasses. But every time he tried to remember, the knife in his skull would twist, adding to the headache that had been his constant companion since the culling.

The ache pounded hard enough to bring tears to his eyes sometimes, and the medication the doctor had given him had proven useless. Light and sound made him nauseous, and one day when Rodney entered carrying a glowing device, the pain spiked hard enough to make John cry out. McKay glanced at the apparatus in horror and fled the room. Carson raced in a moment later, asking questions, but the blood roaring in John's ears drowned out the words. He rolled on his side as his stomach heaved, the movement only serving to compound his agony as he gagged.

"Please, make it stop," John begged the physician before surrendering to the looming darkness.

OoOoOoOoO

Carson stared in bewilderment as the colonel slumped into unconsciousness. He had known Sheppard's headaches were painful but had no idea they had reached this level. John had come so far only to start regressing, and nothing the Scot did seemed to help. He checked the pilot's vitals and turned to find Rodney lurking in the doorway, guilt etched on every feature, Teyla and Ronon standing behind him.

"Come on in."

"Is he OK?" the scientist asked as the three entered the area.

"I hope so. His heart rate and respiration show signs of distress but not enough to cause permanent damage." Carson huffed in disgust. "What were you thinking, bringing an Ancient device in here?"

"I didn't mean to," McKay protested. "Sometimes I forget I'm carrying a scanner."

"Rodney, you have to be more careful. You know that his brain can't interact with Ancient technology right now. Keller's research confirms that when an overload like this happens, the patient has to be kept away from anything that requires mental activation or interface."

"Dr. Beckett," Teyla began. "Does not almost everything in Atlantis require such interaction?"

"Not everything, but many systems, and devices, do which is why we have to take care regarding what we expose him to."

Ronon shifted his gaze from John to Carson. "Doc, what she's trying to ask is: would he be better off recovering somewhere else?"

Beckett studied the identical expressions of hope on Sheppard's team. "What did you have in mind?"

"We thought perhaps a few days on the mainland would help. My people left a few tents behind when the Ancestors insisted they relocate. We could take plenty of water and food with us, and you would only be a jumper ride away," Teyla suggested.

"You want to take him camping?"

"Carson, he's getting worse," Rodney pointed out. "If being on Atlantis is making him sick then he needs to be somewhere else. According to you, the database said he needed time away for his mind to heal. Will it hurt to try?"

"It's not that simple. The man has been very ill and needs medical care."

"He's eating solid food again and can walk a little bit," McKay argued. "You know if we were on Earth he would have already been released from the hospital with a list of instructions for home. How is this different?"

"This is camping."

"Not to me and my people," Teyla interjected as she placed a hand on his arm. "Please, Carson. We will not leave the settlement area, and you can check on him as often as you wish."

"Unless you have a better plan," Rodney added.

Sighing, Beckett had to concede that he did not, in fact, have a better plan. The colonel would most likely improve if he was away from the Ancient technology. "OK, then. What now?"

Dex grinned. "By the time you convince Weir and sedate Sheppard, we'll have the jumper loaded."

OoOoOoOoO

Soft voices woke John, and his eyes blinked open slowly. A flickering candle provided enough light for him to see the fabric walls of someplace new. He raised his head, delighted to find that the ache had dissipated to the same dull throb it had been on Trilox. As his eyes adjusted to the dim illumination, he discovered three people seated near the entrance to the tent. They had told him they were his team, but their expressions had spoken of relationships deeper than merely coworkers. At times, his mind whispered '_family_' when he looked at them.

Ronon rose at the rustle of the blanket John pushed away and made his way to the side of the bed. "Feeling better?"

"Yes, actually. Where am I?"

Teyla and Rodney joined them as Dex answered. "You're in what's left of the Athosian settlement on the mainland."

"Oh." John had already forgotten who the Athosians were but decided not to ask. "Why am I here?"

McKay spoke up. "The Ancient technology on Atlantis was causing your headaches. We thought you might recover quicker here."

"I thought the doctor said my memory would return faster by being around familiar things."

Teyla smiled gently at him. "That is why we are here."

"To be familiar?"

"To remind you who you are."

XXX

After a meal of surprisingly good soup that Ronon assured him Teyla did not make, they sat at his bedside and told him of their exploits on Atlantis and in the Pegasus Galaxy. He listened carefully, testing each story against an image in his mind. Some found a match, but most were blank. He laughed at the idea of throwing Rodney off a balcony and grimaced at the pain Ronon must have felt as Beckett cut a Wraith tracking device out of his back not once but twice. He squeezed Teyla's hand as she told of the death of a beloved friend but found himself wondering what they were not telling him. His dreams spoke of violence and death while most of their stories told of friendship and courage.

"Tell me about me."

Smiles faded as they exchanged glances. "What would you like to know?" Teyla asked.

"Anything. You said we were friends. Do I have a family?" They shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "Are they dead?"

"Well, we ah… we don't know much about your past," McKay confessed. "You don't really talk about it."

"We're friends, and you don't know if I have a family."

"Well, you must have at one point. You weren't hatched. At least I don't think you were. There are times-"

"Rodney…" Emmagan warned. "Be nice."

"Yes, right. Sorry. Like I was saying, you don't talk about your past much."

"That bad, huh."

"John, my father's name was Turghan. What does that tell you about me?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"I know you are curious about your past, but knowing the names of your family members will not tell you anything about you."

"I guess you're right, but I would still like to know."

"The information is probably in your personnel file," Rodney offered. "I'm sure Elizabeth could look it up if you want."

"Maybe I'll have her do that." He rubbed a temple as his head began to throb mercilessly from the snatches of memory. "Do you mind if we pick this up tomorrow?"

"Not at all," Teyla answered as she smoothly stood. "Good night, John."

The three moved to the other side of the room as he pulled the blanket up to his shoulder. He fell asleep wondering why he would hide his past from his friends.

XXX

_The hand slammed into his chest, and pain like he had never felt raged through his body. The gag was unnecessary, the agony so intense he could not have screamed if he had wanted. He could feel his life draining, cells dying, nerves shriveling, skin wrinkling. He twisted under the deadly grip as he silently begged for it to stop._

His scream echoed in the night air as he bolted upright, immediately sagging back down as pain rippled through his abdomen. Panting as his heart hammered uncontrollably, his eyes flew open again when he felt one small hand firmly clasp his fingers while another stroked his upper arm. He searched the darkened room and found Teyla staring back at him as tears trickled down her face while Ronon and Rodney stood behind her, their expressions a mixture of guilt and anger.

"S-s-s-sorry," John stammered. "I hate that one."

Teyla's hand moved from his arm to his face as she dabbed at the perspiration beading up. "You are safe here. He cannot reach you."

"Who?"

"Kolya."

His heart seized at the name, and the dark-eyed man's face swam before his mind's eye. "Kolya. I've been wondering what his name was." He took a shaky breath. "Why does he hate me?"

"Because you're a better man than he is." Rage and bitterness made Rodney's voice so thick it was almost unrecognizable.

John's laugh was hollow. "Somehow I doubt that."

"McKay's right. Not only have you beaten him every time you've faced him, you fight with honor. He is a coward. I just wish…."

"You wish what?" He looked from one to the other noting the eyes that would not meet his and the defensive body language. An image flashed in his mind – Ronon and Teyla chasing him in the market, shock on their faces. "You weren't expecting to find me on Deneb; you were looking for him. Did you go there to kill him?"

Dex's chin lifted, and he met Sheppard's gaze squarely. "Yes."

John found the same hard look in the eyes of Teyla and Rodney which both warmed and chilled him. "I see." He thought back to his reaction at the sight of Kolya on Deneb. "Then I'm the type of man who seeks vengeance."

McKay's brow wrinkled in confusion. "What?"

"Why would you say that, John?" Teyla asked.

"You said that I was in charge of this team which I assume means that you follow my lead. Since I wasn't there, you did what you thought I would do."

Rodney's face mottled with fury. "I know you don't remember, but it's not that simple. He has tried repeatedly to kill all of us. He broadcasted your torture; we watched that Wraith feed on you three times!"

"Four."

"You can't sit there and expect- What did you say?"

"It was four times." Grimacing, he shuddered as the memory pushed its way forward, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Once more after we escaped."

"God, Sheppard," McKay breathed. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Other images popped in his head, Rodney with a stab wound, Kolya dragging Weir toward the gate at gunpoint, an underground room with a math puzzle, an ambush in a forest. Moaning, John clamped his eyes shut at the bombardment of memories as Teyla gripped his hand tightly with both of hers, murmuring softly to him. Then she began to sing a haunting melody, her voice strong and beautiful. He could not understand the words, and the tune was exotic to his ears, but her song spoke to his heart and whispered comfort and peace to his soul. Ronon laid a comforting hand on his shoulder as Rodney squeezed his arm, and gradually his trembling stopped, and his breathing slowed. Tightening his fingers around Teyla's hand, he drifted back to sleep.

OoOoOoOoO

The next few days were filled with long conversations with his team. They told him of waking the Wraith, of losing the young man with the twisted face to an enzyme, of the invention and consequences of a retrovirus, of McKay's alternate self, and of a device that made them hallucinate to the point of hurting each other. He began to see himself through their eyes, not a violent criminal as he first feared but certainly not a perfect man either. He learned from McKay and Emmagan that he had authority issues, and Dex informed him of a lazy streak. But Rodney also told him about a suicide run with a jumper. Teyla described a conversation about family. Ronon spoke of keeping a promise to a Wraith. John stopped fearing what his dreams would show him, allowing his mind to reveal the truth, and one day he awoke to find the headache gone.

He and his team never strayed far from the tents, but they did take a few walks to the shoreline, and he discovered the origins of his love for the water as memories of childhood flooded back. Carson visited daily, his smile growing bigger each time. After ten days on the mainland, John was pronounced ready to return to Atlantis if he passed one last test.

"Tell me if this hurts even the tiniest bit, Colonel," Beckett said as he pulled a scanner from his pack.

"Don't worry, Carson. I'm more than ready to get my life back, but I won't risk relapsing."

The device hummed as the doctor waved it over his face, chest, and torso. "Anything?"

John grinned. "Not even a twinge, Doc."

Beckett handed him a life signs detector. "Can you activate and control it?"

At the pilot's touch, the display lit up, screens shifting at his command. "Yep."

"Then I think it's time you came home, son."

Once their belongings were loaded in the jumper, McKay took the controls and headed to Atlantis. Shortly after lifting off, Ronon kicked over Beckett's med kit in the rear compartment, earning him a good scolding from Teyla as she bent to help the doctor gather the supplies. She suddenly became all thumbs as Dex lounged in the compartment doorway, effectively blocking the view. Glancing at Sheppard, Rodney grinned and let go of the controls.

John's surprise quickly turned into gratitude and excitement as the jumper responded to his touch. He had forgotten how much he loved to fly. They skimmed over the surface of the water until they reached the city. He darted between several towers and flew straight up the side of one and down another, circling around the main spire before neatly dropping through the bay doors.

"Next time you can just ask," Carson grumped as he picked up his pack and stomped down the ramp.

Watching the doctor's retreating back, he made a mental note to apologize later and grinned at his team. "Thanks for that. It was exactly what I needed." He glanced down, rubbing the back of his neck. "Look, you guys know I suck at this, but um, thanks for, well, for everything, for finding me, for helping me to remember…."

"You're not going to get mushy, are you?" McKay asked, looking petrified. Teyla glanced at Ronon who smacked Rodney in the back of the head.

"You are welcome, John," the Athosian replied. "We are glad you are finally home."

Dex pulled McKay from the pilot's chair and loaded him down with luggage. "Sheppard isn't allowed to carry anything so you get to carry his, little man."

"What?" At Ronon's glare, the scientist rolled his eyes. "Fine." He glanced at John who smirked back at him. "Well, let's go, Colonel. Busy man here and all."

They strolled down the hall, allowing Sheppard to set the pace. Expedition members greeted them warmly as they passed, and John felt the last vestiges of doubt disappear. He was really home. Teyla bid farewell as they passed her quarters, and Ronon headed to a transporter to return some supplies to the quartermaster.

Rodney's nose wrinkled in disgust when the doors to the colonel's room slid open. "Do you ever clean up this pig sty?"

"I haven't been here in a while, McKay."

"Well, it didn't get like this while you were gone."

"You aren't the only busy man around here. In the grand scheme of things, the Wraith and the Asurans usually win out over putting my clothes away."

Dumping John's belongings on his unmade bed, Rodney grabbed the laundry sack from under the desk and began stuffing it.

"What you are doing?"

"You aren't allowed to pick up anything, remember? Unless you plan on wearing dirty clothes for the next few weeks, somebody has to do it." He moved to the uniforms in the corner and continued.

"It doesn't have to be you, McKay."

Setting the bag aside, the physicist began to stack the DVDs that covered part of the floor, his back to Sheppard. "Well, unless Atlantis has acquired a maid service recently, who else is it going to be?"

"I do have an entire military contingent at my disposal. I'm sure I can find someone to carry the laundry sack-"

McKay's movements completely stilled, his hands flattening on the desk as his shoulders hunched. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What?"

"I said I was sorry."

"For what? You didn't scratch one of the discs, did you?"

Rodney turned around, causing John to blink in surprise at the overwhelming guilt on the man's face. "I left you behind. On that planet that got culled. Everyone thought you were dead because I left you there. God, Sheppard, I am so sorry."

"First of all, this was not your fault so stop blaming yourself. According to Beckett you saved my life."

"If I'd been able to fix-"

"I'm not done yet. Second, you did not leave me behind. We got separated by circumstances beyond your control. Regardless of what you might think, Rodney, you aren't Superman."

"If I hadn't gone back to get-"

"Still not done. Third, you didn't give up. Ronon told me where they found you. Not everyone around here is an ex-con, you know. An escaped one at that."

Dipping his head sideways, Rodney blinked at him for a minute, a grin beginning to show. "I'd never thought of that. Think they'll put up wanted posters of me around that village?"

"It's probably a good thing their stargate doesn't work. The last time you had a wanted poster we wound up gassed and almost nuked."

McKay lifted an amused brow. "Subtle group, the Genii."

"Now, if you're done, I'd like my room back."

"Sheppard-"

"You're not going to get mushy, are you?"

"Oh, hardly." Rodney moved to the door, laundry bag in hand. "I was going to ask if you wanted to head to the game room after dinner. We still have a trade negotiation to finish."

"Sure. As long as you promise not to offer beans again."

"Then don't send any more citrus." The door slid open as the scientist waved at the controls.

"Hey, McKay. You did good. Thanks for everything."

A smile tugged at the corner of Rodney's mouth. "You're welcome." He slung his pack over his shoulder. "Don't let it happen again."

Once the doors slid shut, John stretched out on his bed for the first time in weeks, propping his hands behind his head. He knew he had a long way to go before he was returned to active duty; he tired easily, and his abdominals were not fully healed. But he was home, and that was enough for now.

**Five Weeks Later**

Sheppard paced anxiously in the gateroom as he waited for his team to gather. At the sound of footsteps, he turned to find Elizabeth Weir standing next to him.

"Nervous, Colonel?"

He grinned sheepishly at her. "Maybe a little. But mostly I'm looking forward to being able to thank Wenn and Neera for everything they did."

"Do you have the gifts?"

He hefted the pack on his shoulder. "Right here. The Athosians are fine craftsmen, and the toys are perfect."

The sounds of bickering echoed loudly in the room as Ronon and Rodney entered followed by a long-suffering Teyla. "He is right, Dr. McKay. The scent of the sunscreen will be detectable by anyone standing downwind of us."

Weir shook her head as the sniping continued, catching John's eye. "Sounds like things are back to normal."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he replied before addressing his team. "Knock it off, kids."

John nodded at Chuck, trying to contain his excitement as the dialing sequence began. It was time to get back to doing what he was meant to do. His smile widened as the gate bloomed to life.

"Let's go."

The End.

* * *

But if I lose my way will you come and find me? If I forget who I am will you remind me? 

"If I Lose My Way" written by Dale and Faye Belnap

* * *

_A/N: Thanks to karrikln1671 on LJ for the song lyric prompt this is based on. To all of you who have joined me on this ride - thank you. I know your time is valuable, and I am honored you would choose to spend some of it with me. To those of you who have taken the time to share your comments and thoughts, I can't thank you enough. You make me smile._


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